Distractions
by HorizonCold
Summary: As the gundam pilots meet for the weekend, Trowa finds himself confronted with a small problem. onesided 2x3
1. Chapter 1

**Distractions**

**Once upon a time, I complained at the over expanse of 3x4 fanfictions in the GW fandom world. Also at this time, I praised the existence of so many well-written 2x3 fanfictions in the GW fandom world. My loverly friend shoved a not-so-loverly sock in my mouth and told me to rebel against the 3x4 obsession by contributing to the number of 2x3 fics out there. My loverly friend was tired of me shooting of my mouth. So…ta da.**

**I do not own Gundam Wing. But I do have the right to stick out my tongue at the people who do.**

I peek into Quatre's microwave, my cold fingers desiring to have the warm cup of hot chocolate in their grasp after our walk outside in blistery September weather. He doesn't keep much coffee in his expansive loft and I refuse to drink tea after a nasty run-in with something called chai. My knuckles and wrist are sore from the biting wind, a result of what Wufei calls soldier's arthritis. Not that he knows I have this affliction. My hands belong to myself.

The five of us are together again, the four of them sitting around the table while I stand next to the microwave, listening to the machine's hum over their conversation. About a month after the conflict with the Barton family, someone decided it would be a good idea for us to meet overnight at least once every month for 'bonding purposes'. So every four weeks, we rotate playing host on our separate corners of the earth and colonies.

Somewhere along the line, the idea started growing that we should stop playing site hopscotch and live together permanently. We're supposed to be looking at a house tomorrow that Wufei (of all pilots) picked out near the Sanq Kingdom, suspiciously close to Quatre's earthbound apartment and Preventer's Headquarters.

They all say they want to form a family with the only people who will understand. They all are weary of silence on the subject. Would I like to live in a settled house with my friends? Yes, absolutely. But there's a tiny hitch that is making me reluctant to move. His name is Duo Maxwell.

I'm in love with Duo Maxwell.

Shocking? It shocked me too.

But how could you _not_ fall in love with him? As trite as it sounds, Duo is the most beautiful person I have met, inside and out. He's incredibly intelligent (which he is not given enough credit for), he's admirably honest, he's naturally funny, and he's charismatic. It's easy to say that he's amazing for continuing to smile through a war, but it was the war that made him who he is now. Like a jagged shell beaten by the ocean enough to become smooth. And he is very smooth. His skin, I mean. He smells like cinnamon and I wish my drink would smell like him even as I inhale the delicious, chocolate-rich tendrils of mist rising from the mug.

Duo has a way of getting under your skin until you're running your own hands across your body, begging that the expanses of flesh beneath your fingertips would for once be his instead of your own. I want to make him tremble like I do in the middle of the night when I'm laying awake dreaming about him. I want to make him moan as I engulf him, worship him with my mouth until he peaks, pouring himself into my—

"Tro?"

"_Shit!_" The cup slips from my hands, shattering on the floor in a cacophony of porcelain, liquid, and tile.

Duo jumps away from me, the cuffs of pants splattered with my ruined drink. "Jeez, man, did I scare you?"

"I'm…I'm sorry. I was somewhere else."

He steps over the mess, putting his own cup in the microwave behind me. "No joke." The fabric of his shirt brushes against my equally clothed arm, but that's all it takes to send my thoughts plummeting down into the gutter again. Which was obviously where they were when the man of my most intimate fantasies decided to materialize in front of my face.

Quatre is suddenly at my feet, picking up the pieces. I grab a towel to mop up the spreading brown mass on his floor. "Sorry."

"It's fine, Trowa." His eyes flicker to mine, concerned as they too often are. "Are you okay? Where were you?"

Suddenly, the only noise in the kitchen is the beeping of the microwave as the four of them wait for my answer. Unlike Duo, I have no problems with lies or half-truths. "Just thinking."

Quatre's mouth forms a thin line, probably sick of this excuse. This is the third time I've lost track of the present thinking about Duo today. The first time, I fell on my ass watching his flex in a tight pair of jeans when he reached for his luggage at the airport. The second time, during the walk, I walked into oncoming traffic while imagining his reaction to finding out I prefer to bottom in bed. Now, I've broken a piece of dishware probably more expensive than my entire wardrobe. Speaking of, I need a more flattering wardrobe. Duo commented earlier that my pants are nearly threadbare.

"You've been just thinking a lot today."

"I'm entitled." Duo snickers at my sarcasm and I do a little mental dance. That's ultimate proof to how far gone I am. The Silencer is mentally dancing.

"Are you having second thoughts?" Quatre's voice is soft and low, afraid. I can't stand to hurt him. It's like kicking a puppy.

"No. But I think I'll head to bed to cure my headache." Which I don't have. Unless you'd consider love a headache.

Quatre relaxes considerably and smiles, hugging me briefly before wishing me goodnight. Not able to look anyone else in the face (I said I didn't mind lying, but I never said I was good at it), I leave the kitchen with still-cold fingers to crash on the left side of Quatre's bed. My hands immediately cramp, a reflex developed after years of sleeping while holding a rifle. Laying on my stomach, I reach one hand under the pillow to grasp at the edge of the mattress under the headboard, letting the other hand flatten under the weight of my chest.

Forcing my eyes shut, I try to keep my thoughts away from Duo, but to no avail. He haunts me even on the high wires, so it makes logical sense that he would hound me in bed. Somehow, I think that if I were to tell him, to relieve this secret, I'd be able to move on. But there are three rather large reasons why I cannot confess my love to Duo Maxwell.

Number One: He hates me.

Number Two: He and Heero, who is extremely capable of beating my ass, have had a successful romantic relationship now spanning seven months of existence.

Number Three: Quatre proposed to me in August and I said yes yesterday.

Such is my civilian life. Part of me is starting to miss the war.

**To be continued. Possibly.**

**Depends on if I can get the sock taste off of my tongue any time soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yay for chapter two. **

**Yes, I do realize that the point of view has changed, but third person limited perspective perhaps will be less limiting than just looking through Trowa's eyes. If you care, pretend that the first chapter was an odd introduction. Yes, I also realize that Trowa could come off as a huge jerk for playing Quatre. Even the hottest of anime men have their faults. **

**Out of curiosity, why doesn't Ringleader have a name? And why doesn't Catherine have pupils? Any why is 'shitty' recognized by spell check, but 'wanna' isn't? And why isn't Trowa married to me yet? **

Trowa looked down at his mask, resting against the lion cage before his final performance in the circus. It wasn't the mask given to him during the war, the half-face with a smile which had a tendency to mock Trowa no matter where he stashed it in the trailer. The current mask was similar to a bandit's with two almond-shaped eye-holes cut in a long band of black, shining silk.

As he wove the silk through his fingers, it reminded him of Duo. Everything reminded him of Duo.

"Trowa! Are you ready?" Catherine peeked her head around the flap of the tent. Not waiting for an answer from her brother, she took the mask from him and tied it around his head. "Your friends are in the audience."

Trowa loosened the knot behind him, straightening the eye-holes for maximum visibility. "Are they enjoying themselves?"

"Naturally. It is our circus!" Catherine gave him a thorough look-over, tugging on his skin-tight black cat suit. "You've lost weight, Trowa. I'm going to have to send some soup with you when you leave." Her lips trembled for a moment.

"I plan to visit you often, Cathy. Don't be sad."

"Oh, I'm not sad! I'm just going to miss you, that's all." She placed her hands on his shoulders with a smile. "Soon, my baby brother is going to be Mr. Triton Winner."

Trowa paled. "Not that soon."

"Are you nervous?"

"Guess so. My ring is in your drawer, right?"

"Mmmhmm." Catherine's eyes were teasing him. Trowa had asked her to keep it in her trailer, lying and giving the excuse of not wanting to lose the obviously expensive piece of jewelry. Of course, the real reason was because it burnt his skin with guilt every time he slipped it on his finger. Which was often lately, due to completing the final renovations on the new house in Sanq. He didn't want to hurt Quatre's feelings by not wearing it.

"You're up, Trowa." Catherine kissed his cheek. "Knock them dead."

"Always. I'm good at that."

Upon entering the center ring, Trowa automatically located the rest of the pilots sitting front-row center. Duo had his fingers full of pink cotton-candy and was resting his feet on the low wall in front of him. Trowa's heart pounded, knowing Duo's eyes were now centered on him. Trying to push that awareness away, he ran his fingers through his hair which was currently held away from his face with an ample amount of gel for the performance.

Ringleader's voice boomed from under the spotlight. "For our final performance of the night, please welcome our thrilling acrobatic duo of Lance Bronte and Triton Bloom!"

_Why in the hell did he have to say duo? _Trowa grumbled mentally as he smiled for the crowd, taking Lance's hand for a bow. He hated Lance in honestly, but he played nice because it was never a good idea to tick off the man who literally holds your life in his hands.

Lance leaned over, breathing harshly in Trowa's ear. "You nervous, baby?"

Trowa turned his smile on him, hoping he wasn't baring his teeth. "You'll catch me, right?"

"I promise."

"Then I'm not nervous."

The tall, muscular blond brushed an errant strand of hair from Trowa's face. The ringleader let the acrobats have a few moments, knowing that it built good anxiety in the crowd and knowing that the act (completed without nets) required relaxed performers. At Trowa's nod, he and Lance separated and climbed opposite ladders leading to the high wire as the net was removed beneath them. Stealing a glance at the crowd, he noticed that Quatre was glaring at Lance and Heero was frowning at the removed net.

Trowa silently hoped that Lance would fail to catch him and he'd end up lethally breaking his neck. A simple solution to plaguing problems.

He took a deep breath as the music started, then lost himself to faraway thoughts as his trained body danced upon the wires, over the swinging bars, and around Lance. Being the more slender of the two, he allowed Lance to manipulate his body as the act dictated. He could feel Quatre's jealousy rising up in his chest, making him thankful that in return Quatre's empathetic abilities hadn't been able to penetrate through his walls. If Quatre could finally see how Trowa felt…well, it would be a bad day.

Towards the end of the performance, a rope was dropped from the highest point in the center tent, and Lance slid down the rope to safe ground. As part of the act, the rope fell after him, sending up a few gasps in the audience. Lance opened his arms up towards Trowa and whistled as Trowa remained standing on the middle of the tightrope. Taking another deep breath, Trowa closed his eyes and fell backwards off the rope, plummeting quickly down to the earth.

In the few seconds it took for him to fall, he heard a scream from the audience, but he did not have to time to analyze the voice before Lance's strong arms caught him, flipped him, and positioned him in a bow before the crowd. The onlookers were silent for only a moment before going wild, applauding while standing from their seats. Glancing under his lashes towards his friends, Trowa was surprised to see that they weren't applauding. They looked shocked. Trowa resisted a smirk.

Lance drew him up in a hug as the rest of the performers came out for a final bow. "You did it again, kid."

Trowa patted Lance's back awkwardly. "Yeah. Thanks." Quickly disengaging, Trowa escaped back to the lion's cage, dropping down on the crate to relax. Sweat was making the already tight costume adhere to his skin, trapping the moisture and the heat against him uncomfortably. He heard the footfalls of the other pilots before he saw them, wondering who in the world let them behind curtain, wondering if he could possibly get the person responsible fired.

Quatre immediately leaned down for a kiss, chaste but a bit more forward than usual. _Lance must have ticked him off more than I thought_.

"You were amazing out there, Trowa."

"Thank-you. All I have to do is shower and I am ready to go."

Quatre nodded, moving away to let Trowa stand. But before he had the chance, a pair of blue-violet eyes was thrust mere inches away from his face. Trowa sucked in a quick breath, hoping frantically that his 'smaller self' wouldn't come to life in his already too-revealing outfit. Duo's mouth parted for a moment, his tongue swiping at leftover sweetness on his own lips from the cotton candy. Trowa nearly had a heart attack.

"D-duo? What are you doing?"

"Dude! I've never seen both your eyes before!"

Blinking, Trowa tried not to blush. "Heero, will you remove your boyfriend? He's starting to creep me out."

Laughing quietly, Heero pulled Duo back by his braid. Forcing down the envy as much as the blush, Trowa quickly made haste to his trailer, telling the others they were free to explore. After a hot shower, in which Trowa physically exorcised the image of Duo's tongue darting across his lips, he dressed in his much more comfortable street wear and gathered his bags. All he needed was the ring. "Goodbye, circus."

"It's really too bad you're going, babe. Things were just starting to heat up."

Trowa jumped at the voice behind him, realizing that he was letting down his guard way too much for a former mercenary. "Lance? What do you want?"

"Oh, just to have a proper good-bye. I'm going to miss you." The way Lance moved forward made the hairs on Trowa's arms stand up, years of suspicion setting him on guard.

"Good-bye, Lance. It was nice working with you."

"Hey, what's with all the formality?" Lance kept advancing, slowly working Trowa against the wall. He ran his hands down Trowa's sides. "We're friends, right?"

The green-eyed man growled. "Bronte, if you don't get off of me—"

"You'll what?" Lance quickly pinned Trowa, knowing from months of practice that the ex-pilot's joints were weak from arthritis. He had been kind before, supporting Trowa enough to make up for the disability, but now he had little qualms about using the weakness to his own advantage. He applied pressure to Trowa's wrists, twisting them until the other man was forced to cry out in pain. "Come on, Bloom. Let's have one more performance before you go, huh?"

Trowa was shaking with anger, but he knew cooperation would get him farther than resistance since he honestly could not fight Lance off. _Wufei would be ashamed of me. _"What do you want?"

Lance smiled, white teeth glinting in the trailer's poor light. "How about a good fuck?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really." Lance leaned forward to kiss on Trowa's neck, sending waves of disgust to the pit of Trowa's stomach. "You're mine now, babe."

"I don't think so."

Trowa's head snapped up at the sound of Quatre's voice, only to crumple on the ground as Lance was jerked off of him and given a solid blow to the cheek. He scrambled to break up the fight, afraid that Lance would retaliate and hurt his best friend, but Duo's arms held him tight. Duo pushed Trowa's head into his shoulder gently.

"Don't worry, Buddy. Quat's pissed off enough to kill the guy," Duo comforted, rubbing Trowa's back as he whimpered. He didn't let Trowa go until Lance was out cold on the trailer floor.

Wufei looked down at the broken lump, nudging it with his shoe. "What do we do with him?"

Trowa pushed Duo back and stood. "Nothing. He's down and we can go now." Embarrassment burned on his cheeks, and he shook his head at the questions rising from his friends' mouths. "It was the first time, he's stronger than me, I'm fine. Let's go."

Quatre stopped him by cupping his face, lightly rubbing his thumbs across Trowa's cheeks. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I just have to get the ring from Cathy and tell her good-bye."

"There's no rush. You just—"

Trowa cut him off. "There's some ice in the freezer for your hand. Probably some plastic bags in the drawer." He shrugged off Heero's hand, refusing to look at Wufei and Duo. _This wouldn't have happened a year ago. A year ago, I would have just shot the guy. Now I don't even own a gun. _He unconsciously rubbed on his waist where he used to carry his revolver, wishing for it now.

He left, getting the ring and giving his sister perhaps the longest hug they had yet shared. Making his way back to his trailer, he spotted a figure standing on the edge of the grounds. It was the figure which filled his every waking thought, and he was instantly pulled towards it.

"Duo? Um, are you okay?"

"Hmm? Yeah. Are you? You're the one that nearly got raped."

Trowa felt disgraced. "He wouldn't have gotten that far, even without outside help. But thanks anyway."

Duo chuckled, for once not making Trowa feel any better. He usually loved Duo's loud laughter, the joy that seemed to bring back fire to the ashes that comprised Trowa's heart. "You're welcome. Don't feel bad, Tro. What else are friends for, if not to get you out of shitty situations?"

Trowa didn't reply to that, instead he watched as Duo's gaze rested on the stars appearing in the sky. "Are you ready to go home?"

Duo was just as surprised as Trowa at the question. Trowa hadn't meant to speak, but he often found himself doing weird things around Duo. Despite being anxious about his attraction to the braided man, he felt strangely comfortable around him. Like that even though Duo might never like him, Duo would always accept him.

"I'm dying to get there and out of the apartment Heero and I are existing in. Not that I am big on space, you know—any room with a bed and a toilet is good enough for me—but sharing that much room with Mr. Super Talkative isn't always conducive to the best emotional state. Ha, I said 'conducive'. Big word for me, right?"

Trowa tilted his head slight in confusion. "Big word?"

"Yeah, you know, for the baka?"

A surge of anger gripped at Trowa's throat, his words sounding a bit more harsh than he intended. "You are _not _an idiot, Duo. You are one of the most intelligent people I've ever met."

Duo's beautiful eyes widened, looking at Trowa dead on for the first time in their conversation. A smile tugged on the lips Trowa so dearly wanted to claim. "You think so?"

"Yes."

"Gee, man. That means a lot. Really, it does."

Tears suddenly rose in Trowa's eyes, so he turned and headed back to the circus, twisting the ring on his left hand. "They are waiting."

"Yep!" Duo bounded up, putting an arm around Trowa's shoulders. "Don't wanna keep a ticked Quat restless!"

Trowa didn't react on the outside to Duo's touch, but he squirmed underneath his skin. _He can never know._


	3. Chapter 3

**Forward we go.**

**Thanks everyone who has reviewed! I hope to answer to all questions/concerns expressed as the story progresses. If not in this chapter, than in the next.**

The new house now shared by the five ex-pilots was much more expansive than Trowa was accustomed to. The basement had been converted into a gameroom and a work-out room to suit the pleasures of Heero and Duo. The ground floor was divided between a living room, a kitchen, and a study. Wufei and Quatre had dominated the study for purposes of intellectual study and family business. Going up the staircase from the living room, three large bedrooms were on the hall, two of them connected for Heero and Duo. Going up one more staircase, there was the attic, converted into one very large bedroom meant for Quatre and Trowa. Each bedroom had its own private bathroom.

Quatre had designated the attic for his fiancé and himself because he knew Trowa liked heights. What he didn't know was that Trowa also liked to climb out the window and onto the roof when he felt the urge for privacy. There was a section of the roof hidden from any grounded eye where Trowa would nestle, watching the sky. Everyone else thought he was out wondering around in the woods or around the lake.

Which is why no-one gave a second thought to gossiping near the open window on the top floor, in distinct earshot of a certain forest-eyed ex-acrobat sunbathing a few feet above. Not that he ever _meant_ to eavesdrop, but Quatre liked to converse with his friends, and Trowa had learned quite a few interesting facts since they moved in the previous week.

Like finding out everyone's reactions to his acrobatic performance with Lance. Heero and Wufei had actually jumped over the wall, retreating quickly only after Lance had caught him securely. Duo had nearly choked on his cotton candy, if such a thing were possible. Quatre had been the one who screamed. Whether in fear or anger, Trowa wasn't sure. But he felt loved, anyway. A novel sensation.

Or like the fact that Duo thought Trowa had a sexy voice. Too bad that once Trowa happily overheard this confession, he was too tongue-tied around his crush to speak. Trowa didn't think Duo was likely to notice, though. Or anyone else for that matter. Quatre had gone so far as to ask Trowa to "put Duo in his thoughts" more often.

Trowa enjoyed fantasizing about what Duo looked like naked on a daily basis. Apparently, that wasn't enough.

Of course, he would love Duo even if Duo looked like Ringleader on a bad day. What shocked Trowa more than the constant lust he carried for the L2 citizen was the deep affection that was the source of the lust. He wasn't used to that—he was used to affection coming after lust, not the other way around. Not that he had much experience with romantic feelings, really. Just Midii, Quatre, and Duo.

Yes, once upon a time, Trowa was actually in love with the man he was going to marry. Twice, he actually made love to the person he was going to marry.

Hearing the window seat rustle underneath someone's weight, Trowa unashamedly shifted silently closer to the window, wondering if Quatre had company. Fortunately for his prying ears, a second body settled on the seat.

"I don't know how to tell him."

Quatre sighed softly, a whisper in the warm air of March. "Heero, the longer you wait, the more you'll hurt him. Duo values honesty above anything else. He'll understand."

"I'm not sure. We put so much into this at first..."

"…But lately all you do is fight?"

Trowa had noticed that, even before they had all moved in. Heero and Duo's relationship was passionate, but half the time this meant passionately angry.

"Yes. We've both changed since the fighting stopped. I can't…I care for Duo. Deeply. But I made a mistake choosing him instead of Relena. We're just not meant for each other."

"Does Duo think that?"

"No."

"Does he know that you're going to meet Relena again?"

Silence gave affirmation to the blonde's question. "You need to tell him, Heero. Any way you can. And soon."

"I know I need to. Have to. But how?"

"Trowa once said you told him to follow his emotions. You do the same. No matter what, we'll stay together as a family," Quatre laughed sadly. "Families grow and change because people grow and change. It will work out for the best, I promise. You'll be happier with Relena and Duo can find someone whom he can be happy with."

One didn't have to see Heero to know he had nodded. "Thank-you, Quatre."

"Best of luck, Heero."

Trowa breath was stuck in his chest, weighing him down heavily against the slate of the roof as his heart pounded in ears. _I should be happy, but this doesn't change a thing. Duo still loves Heero and Quatre still loves me. And Heero's going to hurt him. He's going to hurt my Duo. I can't…I can't let that happen._

**To be continued! Sorry it was short.**


	4. Chapter 4

**La-de-dah-dum. I always wonder why 3x4 is a popular couple right up until I actually sit down and watch a few GW episodes. "Oh yeah, **_**that....**_**" Ah well—that's why the fandom world rocks. **

After making sure his fiancé and Heero had left the bedroom, Trowa swung down through the window, flinching as sore wrists caught his weight on the floor. If he knew Heero, then he knew that the Japanese ex-pilot would take Quatre's advice and tell Duo soon. Trowa had to act quickly, even though he had no idea of how to save Duo from the oncoming pain.

_Quatre said he valued honesty above all things. Maybe hearing the news from me won't be as bad as hearing it from Heero. Then again, maybe not. Would I want Wufei to tell me Quatre was dumping me for a girl? Well…yes. Bad example. _

Trowa knocked on Duo's bedroom door, peeking in when he didn't get an answer. Walking inside, he noted with some irrational relief that the double doors connecting Duo's room to Heero's were shut. "Duo? Are you in here?"

"I'm in the bathroom, Tro! Come on in, I'm covered!" Trowa couldn't resist a smile against Duo's openness. He hoped that laid-back friendliness wouldn't disappear after Duo heard what he had to say. Reminding himself what his duty was, Trowa entered the purple-painted bathroom with a boldness which vanished as soon as he laid eyes on Duo.

"What are you _doing_?"

Duo gave him a cheeky grin. "Getting a bubble bath." Currently, the normally-braided pilot had mounds of bubbles overflowing the bathtub, covering all of him except his head, shoulders, and feet. His heels were propped up on the faucet, ankles crossed. Waves of damp chestnut-brown fell down into the bubbles unbounded, creating dark spider-webbed patterns across his shoulders. "Your boyfriend got me hooked on them when we crashed his hotel on L4."

Trowa was finding it hard to remember why he came in. All he could think about was creating a little more steam in the already humid room, making Duo moan with pleasure underneath him until his long hair spilled over the sides of the tub. _Usually I want to bottom so I don't have to worry about control…but….__**damn.**__..Focus, Nanashi, remember your mission! His heart, not your libido! _

"Would you mind talk? I mean, can I talk to you? Now?"

"Sure man. Must have been important to drive you to me."

_I'd like to drive into you, alright_. "Um, you're not going to like what I have to say." Trowa sat up on a nearby counter, bringing up his knees to rest his chin on them. He adverted his eyes to the grey-tile floor, trying to concentrate. "I don't want to hurt anyone, but you should know what's going on. You have the right."

He stopped talking when he felt a wet hand on his. Duo was reaching across the gap to comfort him, eyes serious even though bits of bubbles rested along his arm. "Trowa, I'm here for you. We may not be the closest of people, but you're my friend and I love ya. You don't have to tell me anything."

Trowa felt the prickle of tears that seemed only to appear when Duo was involved. For once, he was not quick enough to hide them. Duo's fingers caressed his in comfort. "What do you mean I don't have to tell you?"

"You look like someone's torturing you for info, Buddy."

Trowa rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve, daring the tears to return. "You've got the torturing part right, but I still think you should know."

"Then I'm all ears."

"It's about relationships. Romantic ones."

Duo couldn't help but look amused as he prodded Trowa along. "Yeah? What about them?"

"When one person in the relationship falls in love with someone else, someone besides the person they are involved with, should they end the relationship to be with the other person?"

Duo's hand was still and his mouth turned thin as he considered an answer. "Would this person still be in love with their boyfriend too?"

"This person still loves his boyfriend as a friend. But not as a lover or boyfriend anymore."

Duo's voice was slow and clear. "Does the other person love this person back?"

Trowa thought of Relena's undying devotion to Heero. "Definitely."

"Then, yes, I do think that the old relationship should end. Otherwise, it would be emotionally cheating on the boyfriend."

Trowa winced at these words, discovering how well they applied to his own deception towards Quatre. But Duo didn't love him back, so it wasn't the same situation. _I'm not cheating. I'm not cheating on Quatre. At least not physically._ "What do you mean by emotional cheating?"

"I mean pretending to be in love with someone while you're thoughts are always on someone else. Relate it to wearing one of those mask-things from the circus."

The tears were back again, full force. "It's deception."

Silent for a few moments, allowing the other ex-pilot to wipe clean his eyes again, Duo attempted to joke although he didn't completely understand who was the cheater—Trowa or Quatre. "Aw, man, don't tell me you and Quat are calling it quits. Then Heero and I have no hope at all."

"No, it's not about…" Trowa's voice died as Heero entered through the door, the latter's Prussian blue eyes darting quickly between the two men in the bathroom, resting finally on Duo's hand on top of Trowa's.

"Duo, I need to talk to you. Privately."

The pilot addressed wiggled his toes above the bubbles, pulling his arm back to the water. "Does this mean you're going to join me, Hot Stuff? The water's nice."

Heero turned a hard gaze back to Trowa, letting him know that his presence was unappreciated. "Not with an audience."

Quick to pick up on tension in his lover's shoulders, Duo decided that this was not the time to contradict. "Alrighty, Tro, can we wrap this up later? Me and the perfect soldier have some make-up lovin' to attend to." Catching the taller man's green eyes, he smiled in promise, trying to make Trowa understand that he wasn't brushing him off. "I'll find you after we're done."

Knowing the situation was out of his hands now, if it had ever been in them, Trowa retreated obediently. Understanding why he had been dismissed, it still stung at his heart. _He wouldn't have believed me, anyway. Besides, why would he want to help me now that he thinks I'm cheating on Quatre? No…Now that he __**knows **__I'm cheating on Quatre?_

Trowa made his way slowly back to the roof, positioning himself on the highest point so he could keep an eye on the exists of the house. If Heero acted as expected and told Duo the truth about Relena, then Duo would run. It was his instinct, created by a life living on the streets. Years of sentry duty had taught Trowa that there was nothing he could do but watch and listen. And wait.

**Ah, I meant not to break Heero's heart and now I'm intending to break Duo's. My apologies. **


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter does not follow the rest, so please do not expect it to correlate with the established timeline. It is mostly Trowa reflecting on how he fell in and fell out of love. If it makes you feel better, think of it as Trowa's thoughts as he's sitting on the rooftop, waiting for Duo to run. **

Trowa still considered meeting Quatre the most life-changing moment of his life. It was the first time in his life someone had chosen peace over violence. Trowa couldn't help but willingly give himself up to someone so full of beauty, someone brimming over the edges with hope. He believed that chanced—planned?—meeting to have been the beginning of the path which led him to the circle of friends and family he held so dear now.

They made love twice, once after they had played a duet together in the desert, the second time when they met again before battle. They had switched positions, Trowa being dominant first and Quatre second. He fell in love the second time, adoring Quatre's open kindness, his unending generosity. Trowa carried that kindness with him—that memory of someone truly caring for him—for months afterwards. Quatre's gentle voice and hands surrounded the edges of his thoughts, shielding him from the anger and pointlessness of war.

When Trowa met with Quatre the first time after he had lost his memory, he knew immediately that Quatre was important to him somehow. A piece of him completed, reawakened. Quatre was someone to be trusted, someone to follow, someone to admire. But he never felt or remembered the romantic loved they had shared before. By the time his memories returned, those feelings were gone. He didn't need Quatre to find kindness anymore because he had found his own compassion that had been previously buried beneath his memories.

While he was floating around the ship, following strangers he once knew, a new sensation developed with someone else. Duo Maxwell fascinated him. The sarcasm, the laughs, the relaxation, the pain, the darkness. Wherever Duo went, Trowa was tempted to follow out of curiosity—probably much to the Shinigami's amusement. Once his memories returned, he expected the sensation to go away. It didn't. Each time they met again, Trowa grew more and more intrigued.

Although his attraction for Duo grew slowly, ebbing and returning to him as the distance between him and the other pilot ebbed and lengthened, all it took for Trowa to know he loved Duo was an instant.

They were all visiting Wufei's small house near Preventer's Headquarters in the Sanq Kingdom, the first visit to the Chinese man's home since the end of the Barton incident. The easiest way to get around the city with all its construction was to walk. Heero had been the first one to smell the smoke, but Trowa had been the first to see the flames lick at the air.

One of the newly built apartment complexes in the city had caught on fire due to a structural flaw in the wiring. In a manner typical of the 'Glass Kingdom,' it took only a short amount of time for the building to go up in flames. The fire response branch of the Preventers had saved the captured residents from all but the top two floors—the fire was too expansive, the complex too unsteady, to risk trying to save them.

Trowa hadn't thought twice. It wasn't out of a pure heart or honorable intentions. It was training. He was the only person capable of quickly reaching the top floors. So he jumped, using the nearby department store as a springboard. As fast as he could, he went back up and back down, getting all the residents to safety. No-one tried to stop him until the end.

There was one child left and the fire was about to reach the gas line under the building. Quatre, Heero, and Wufei tried to hold him back, telling him that he had done all he could. It was only one. Only one little girl who had stopped screaming for help over a minute ago.

Duo didn't try. He looked right into Trowa's eyes and smiled. "I'll have a bottle of water for you when you get back down," he said.

And as soon as his feet touched the asphalt of the road, his arms relieved of carrying the lifeless body of the child in his arms by the girl's mother, Duo had pressed the bottle into his hand. No questions, no false assurances of "everything is going to be okay," no pitying "you tried." Duo was just _there._ Accepting. Keeping his hand wrapped around the bottle in Trowa's hand, letting their fingers rest together as tears Trowa didn't understand slid down his ash-covered cheeks.

And Trowa knew.


	6. Chapter 6

**The academic world is full of evil manifestations called deadlines. Where's a superhero when you need one? He shall be called Procrastination Man! **

**Anyway, thanks again to everyone who has taken the time out to review. Sorry this chapter has come so much later than the others. See rant above.**

The wait was much longer than Trowa had expected. His hair kept the sun out of his eyes as the afternoon passed, but he swept the long bangs to the side to keep both eyes trained on the evening's lengthening shadows. He wondered what was going on in the house beneath him—fights, conversations, silence?

_Maybe Heero decided to wait on telling Duo. Or maybe he wanted to make love to him one last time. _Trowa swallowed down the burning sensation in his throat at that last thought. He had heard the two in the middle of sex before, in the middle of the otherwise quiet night when his arthritis wouldn't allow him sleep. Listening do Duo cry out Heero's name had produced in Trowa tears loud enough to wake Quatre and ironically invoke Quatre's gentle comforting, though the smaller ex-pilot was never offered an explanation. He never asked for one, assuming the reasons behind Trowa's suffering were memories of the war.

Trowa nearly missed the black-clothed figure dashing through the back door, heading straight for the woods at a speed worthy of a former thief. After having kept his muscles tense for hours on the rooftop, Trowa was ready to follow. Leaping from the three-story building to a nearby tree, then from there to the ground, he lost little time.

Duo darted between the trees of the forest, his agile body responding to its master's desire to flee, remembering well how to do so from escaping angry citizens on L2. Trowa's body ran after, trained on how to fly from years of running from bullets on Earth battlefields. Duo was fast, but Trowa was slightly faster.

Trowa caught Duo in his arms, keeping the hold even as the latter struggled, laying his weight against the hold, attempting to break free. Night was falling fast and Trowa was afraid that if Duo escaped, he might never be found. He tightened the hold until Duo finally gave up, falling limp, his back to Trowa's chest.

Duo's voice was rough with sadness, his words coming in between sobs. "It's over, Trowa. Heero's leaving me. For Relena."

"I know."

Duo let out a desperate sound, something caught between a sigh and a wail that made Trowa want to cry with him. "Then why won't you let me leave?"

"If you leave, I'm going with you."

Watery blue eyes tinged with violet turned up to look at Trowa in the last moments of dimmed light, searching for Trowa's outline as darkness surrounded them. "You can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because of Quatre. Because I'm—"

"Death? Duo, I've lived beside death since I was born." Trowa brushed away the hair he knew was caught on Duo's wet cheeks, reaching up with one hand while keeping one arm wrapped securely around the other man's waist. "You don't scare me. I won't let you be alone. None of us should be alone anymore."

For a moment, they heard only each other's breathing and the sounds of the dark forest. "You tried to warn me. Why?"

Trowa gently caressed Duo's arms, mimicking how Catherine had soothed him after his attacks from amnesia. "I didn't want you to get hurt. I'm sorry for not being able to tell you in time."

"It wasn't your responsibility." Duo stifled another sob as he leaned his head back into Trowa's shoulder, trying to regain his shields against the world as the sarcastic fool even as Trowa's warmth offered comfort he hadn't expected. "Damn. Even you knew before I did."

"I overheard, that's all."

"Why weren't you inside with the others?"

"You were going to run and someone had to catch you. What happened inside the house?"

"Well, after Heero took his merry time in telling me why he didn't want to lay me in the tub, Wufei pretty much summed up that I was 'overreacting'. Which was better than Quat, at least."

"What did Quatre say?"

"That we'd be _happier_ now."

"Maybe he's right."

"I don't feel very happy, Tro. Actually, I feel pretty damn miserable. And cheated, lied to, betrayed…"

"You have every right to feel that way. Why did Wufei say you were overreacting?"

"Maybe because I pitched a fit, called then all scheming bastards, then called Relena worse. Or maybe because I threw my gun at Heero."

"….you threw what?"

"It was unloaded."

Trowa couldn't help but chuckle, mostly out of relief to hear that the other man wasn't crying anymore. "That's my Duo."

Something in Duo trembled, but not out of fear or hurt. He remembered he just what he was a part of, what role he played in the lives of four other people. "Do you think we can still stay together as a family? Heero said he wants to."

Reaching behind him, Trowa led them with cautious steps backwards until he felt the rough bark of a tree. He sat down at its base, jeans getting damp from the chilled earth as he pulled Duo down into his lap. "I don't know. But don't worry about what everyone else wants. Focus on what will make you feel better."

"You're not focusing on yourself."

"I'm not the one currently heartbroken."

"Running away would have made me feel better."

"You would have regretted it tomorrow."

"Hmph. Where are we, anyway?"

"Honestly, I have no idea."

Duo hit his palm against Trowa's shoulder, shoving but not enough to hurt. "I thought you knew! You explore out here all the time!"

"Does it matter? We know which direction the house is in."

The idea of returning home nearly made tears return to Duo's eyes. Returning home meant facing what had changed, what he had done to Heero. What Heero had done to him. He looked around at the darkness surrounding them, aware of how vulnerable they would be overnight, lost and asleep. "I don't like the idea of camping out here but I'm really not ready to go inside yet."

"You're afraid of the forest, Duo?"

"I'm afraid of the people, Trowa. We're unarmed, unless you've decided to start carrying again."

The taller man nodded although the action could not be seen. At this point, he was tired, sore, and hungry. Sleep sounded great, but Duo had a good point. "You're right. I'll stay awake and protect you. We can go back in the morning, if you're ready."

"You promise to stay awake?"

"Yes, Duo." _I'll protect you now as you sleep, I'll protect you until your heart mends, I'll protect you for the rest of our existence. Because I love you. _"I wish I could give you my word, but the word of a mercenary isn't worth much."

Duo curled against his friend, rubbing his face against the soft fabric of Trowa's turtleneck, yawning from exhaustion. "I'm the Shinigami. You could give me your life instead."

As the man in his embrace drifted to sleep, Trowa's sight was captured by a star, the only one allowed space between the branches of the pines above their heads. "Given."


	7. Chapter 7

**And so the drama ensues. **

**Do you know what bites about writing yaoi? Pronouns. **

"So, where are you in the Treize-Zechs debate?"

"The what?"

Duo rolled his eyes, looking up towards the ceiling from where he was laying on his bed. His feet were propped up on the pillows, near Trowa's waist as the latter man sat against the headboard. "The Treize-Zechs debate. The poll going on between all glorious beings who helped save the Earth?"

"Enlighten me."

"Who do you think is hotter?"

"Hmmm…" Trowa considered as Duo handed him half of an Oreo, the circle without the icing, just as he liked it. The white cream was too sweet for him, but he enjoyed watching Duo's tongue swipe up the substance. He also enjoyed the fact that he had gotten Duo to eat something, even if it was cookies. The braided ex-pilot hadn't been taking care of himself lately, forcing Trowa to pamper him whenever necessary. _Alright, maybe 'forcing' isn't the correct verb._ "Probably Milliardo."

"Really? I would've pegged you for a Treize fan. Why Zechs?"

"He has nice hair."

Duo grunted, brushing off black crumbs from the white collar of his tuxedo. "My hair's nicer. And how do you keep from getting Oreo on your shirt?"

"Yes, it is. I have a big mouth. Who do you prefer?"

Duo blinked up at Trowa a few times before smiling. "Thanks, but you don't have a big mouth. Well, if you do, you don't put it to use much." He winked. "Unless you and Quatre have been practicing for the honeymoon."

"Be quiet and answer the question."

"How can I be quiet and answer the question at the same time?"

"…just answer, Duo. Please."

"Your wish is my command, O Silent One. Trieze was way too aristocraty for my tastes, but Zechs has an attitude problem. So neither."

Trowa took another un-iced half of a cookie. "Cheater. You have to pick one."

"Nope, I don't. Picking one would be a lie and Duo Maxwell never lies."

"Then Duo Maxwell should be honest to O Silent One and tell him if Duo is ready to go to the party tonight."

The violet-eyed man closed his eyes, his fingers drumming on top of his stomach slowly. After three weeks of nursing heartbreak, this would be the first time he would see Heero and Relena together. It was the night of the Preventer's Banquet, to which all the ex-gundam pilots were invited, along with the former Queen of the World and various other important figureheads. He knew it was too soon—he hadn't even been able to look Heero in the eye since they broke up. Half his time at home was spent locked up in his room alone, the other half was spent locked up in his room with Trowa. If he wasn't at home, he was at his new job in the city with Trowa. Working on broken down machinery kept his mind occupied, kept him from thinking.

Quatre and Wufei had both tried to talk to him, but they always started lecturing him about moving on. In a way, he had. He knew Heero would never be his lover again and he reluctantly acknowledged that moving on might benefit them both in the long run. But that acknowledgment didn't mean the pain was gone. He had loved Heero, despite all the times they had fought.

He deserved a healing period, right?

"I dunno, Tro. If I go, I'll have to see them together. If I stay, everybody'll think I'm still moping over him."

"Don't worry about what everyone will think. Worry about you."

"You've said that before."

Trowa threw his half-eaten cookie at him, coaxing out a laugh from Duo, a rare sound recently. "You obviously weren't listening."

"Alright, alright." Duo took in a deep breath, memorizing the smooth blankness of the ceiling, the lazy circling of the blades on his fan. "Are you going?"

"Yes. Quatre's eldest sisters will be there, so he wanted me to be his escort for the night." Trowa frowned without realizing it, thinking of the Winner matriarch Amiah. The tall blonde woman held none of her brother's warmth, and she thought little of Quatre's 'uneducated, violent circus clown.' "I don't want to, though."

"I'll go to, so you can have some normal company."

Trowa felt a rush of warmth surge in his chest, but he fought it down like a pro. A few weeks of sleeping next to his secret love, holding him, brushing his hair, feeding him, holding actually long conversations with him, joking with him at work…Trowa thought he was getting quite masterful at masking his feelings. "Thank-you, but you don't have to do that."

"Ah, I want to. You've definitely gone out of your way for me." Duo reached over and laid his hand on Trowa's leg. "Thanks, by the way."

Trowa leaned forward to rest his hand on top of Duo's, but a soft knock on the bedroom door froze him, keeping his arm stretched out in the air.

"Duo? Is Trowa in there with you?"

Duo rolled off the bed, straightening his suit. "Yes, Quatre. You can come on in."

Quatre peeked into the room, blue eyes scanning over its occupants. "So, you're coming too, Duo? That's great! We've really missed you, you know." At Duo's slight nod, Quatre gave his fiancé the intent of his focus. "Are you not going to wear a tie?"

"I don't own a tie."

"Come upstairs and I'll let you wear one of mine." Quatre turned and left, making Trowa shrug hopelessly at Duo before following the smaller man upstairs.

"You seem upset."

Quatre's mouth tugged down at the corners as he gently slipped an emerald-colored tie around Trowa's neck. "We've all missed Duo. But I've missed you too." His pale hands rested on Trowa's shoulders once they were done with their task. "Not to sound jealous, but _we're_ the ones getting engaged. Between my work at the company and your work at the garage, we barely got to spend quality time together _before_. Now I hardly see you at all."

"I'm not spending any less time with you, Quatre. I'm just spending the time I previously spent alone before with Duo now." Trowa didn't miss how Quatre's hands tightened on his shoulders, or how the blue eyes watered, giving them a sea-green hue. Guilt rose up in his chest were just a few moment before had been happiness. Pressing a kiss onto his fiancé's lips, he tried to smile. _Does he know, or is he just guessing? There's nothing to know. I haven't cheated on him physically. Nothing's happened. Nothing's changed. Just that I love Duo more now than ever._ "Your sisters are waiting."

Quatre applied light pressure to Trowa's neck, keeping him from moving to the door. "Actually, I was wondering…" A light blush spread across Quatre's face. "I was hoping after the banquet we could have a special date night."

"Date night?"

"Mmhmm. Like the first and second time we met. But if you're not ready, it's alright. I mean, you haven't seemed interested since you regained your memory..."

_Oh. He wants to make love. How can I? _Trowa opened his mouth to refuse, but was stopped when he saw the dark guilt apparent in Quatre's usually bright eyes. _He thinks we haven't made love again because I don't trust him since the incident. _"Sounds great."

The long ride in a Winner Company's personal limo to the reconstructed Peacecraft castle was tense, with Heero and Duo not wanting to sit near each other and Quatre wanting to keep Trowa away from Duo for the night. Duo ended up sitting next to the chauffeur, talking the patient man's ear off with random facts about car engines and bad alternator belts. Trowa's hand was kept in Quatre's, laying against the fabric of the Arabian's Armani suit.

The ballroom designated for the event was in contrast a stunning sight, beautiful enough in its construction and decoration to even take Trowa's breath for a moment. Of course, he was not looking so much at the twin spiraling staircases, the grey marble columns wrapped in white roses, the balconies opening on the west side above expansive gardens, or the graceful figures dancing to classical music gliding along the white stone floor. He was looking at Duo as the younger man stood enthralled at the enchanting sight, illuminated by the late afternoon sun streaming in from the balconies' glass doors.

Quatre tugged on Trowa's hand, pulling him into the crowd for a waltz. Although Trowa kept the form of the dance well, he continuously peeked over Quatre's shoulder to make sure Duo was alright, as Heero was currently spinning a midnight-blue clad Relena around the room, both of them appearing unmistakably happy. Duo kept mostly to the refreshment table, poking around the fancy dishes before snubbing them in methodical order. Trowa wondered if anyone else saw the dejection written across Duo's stooping shoulders.

"Oh, Trowa, there's Amiah. Will you come with me to talk to her? She has the confirmations on our new location in the L1 cluster, and I want to know the details before our conference tomorrow with the board."

"Mixing business with pleasure, Quatre?"

The blonde man pouted. "Please, Trowa? Just this one thing and then we can spend the rest of the night together. Just us."

Trowa nodded, realizing that going to meet with Amiah meant getting closer to Duo, who just flicked a piece of marinated shrimp back into its bowl of mimosa. He discreetly play-bumped Duo as he passed him, catching the braided man's eye and raising an eyebrow as he glanced at the poor shrimp. He was delighted to catch Duo's snicker and hear the whispered "Aristocratic garbage."

Amiah wore a smile as they neared, turning fake as she nodded to acknowledge Trowa's presence. Trowa immediately felt the cold chill on his neck which told him he was singled out as a target. At Quatre's quick questioning of the new site, Amiah gestured to the attractive young man on her arm.

"Quatre, you remember of course Mr. Pilei of L1? I invited him tonight as my date so you two could have a chance to talk again. I believe Mr. Pilei had some confidential documents he wanted to show you now?" At the prompt, Pilei nodded, ushering Quatre away into a private office beyond the ballroom. Quatre sent a regretful look at Trowa over his shoulder. Trowa was comforted by the fact that, no matter how confidential the documents, the loyal Rashid was quick to follow the retreating pair.

As soon as Quatre was taken away by the business man, Amiah's seemingly kind blue eyes turned cold as she turned to set her gaze on Trowa, her voice low and threatening. "You will never be a part of this family, Mr. Bloom. Quatre may offer your validation as a gundam pilot to my sisters, but I'll make sure the world knows you are _nothing._"

It could have been any other word—freak, murderer, terrorist, clown, imbecile. But she had to say "nothing"—no worth, no identity, no name. Trowa turned from the woman and existed to the nearest balcony, years of remembered lonesomeness and meaninglessness driving him to near tears. He balanced on the stone rail, taking in the cool night air in large but quiet gasps.

A voice spoke up from behind him. "She's wrong, Trowa. Completely wrong."

Trowa swallowed past the lump in his throat, turning to face the man of his greatest affections. "How do you know?"

Duo reached up to Trowa's face, cupping his cheek in the palm of a warm hand. "I know you're an amazing man, Triton Bloom."

Trowa turned out of the embrace, startled when Duo's arms wrapped around him from behind, much like when he had caught Duo in the woods three weeks earlier. "You don't know what I've done. What I'm doing."

"True. But without you, I would have never been able to start healing. I knew you were amazing before this though, even before we all moved in together. You've always taken care of us when we've fallen—Heero after he self-destructed, Quatre when he went insane, Wufei after his battle with Trieze, and now me." Duo snuggled his face into the curve between Trowa's shoulder blades as he talked, his voice drifting off as if he were talking to himself and not the man he had encased in his arms.

"So what? Protecting others is part of my training."

"You get irritated quicker than anyone else in the house, but you're always the last one to lose your temper."

"I do not and that's also because of training."

"Yes, you do. You're also the only person I've met who judges me for me. It seems like everyone else is caught up in the…in the _shadow_, in the pretend Duo the world created to make life seem happier. They all tell me I'm not Shinigami. But I am. And you accept that."

Trowa turned in Duo's arms, looking down into blue-and-violet eyes. "You've always done the same, accepting me for exactly who I am. I admire that about you."

"Then why can't you admire that in yourself?"

Trowa bit down on his bottom lip, the guilt that had been burning in his heart for months suddenly burning against his mouth. Duo did value honesty and if they were going to continue down the road as friends—close friends—then Duo needed to know the truth. "I can't admire myself because I've cheated on the person who loves me the most."

"The person who loves you the most? Quatre? You've cheated on Quatre?" Duo's arms went slack, but the tight grip around Trowa's chest relaxed when he realized that the other man had yet to let go.

"Emotionally, I have."

Duo searched Trowa's face for a thousand answers, unable to believe the words which had just fallen into his ears, settling heavily on his heart. "But how? You two are the perfect couple. You always have been."

Trowa took a deep breath, feeling as if he was balancing on top of the high wire again, about to risk everything on the chance that someone beneath him would catch him when he fell backwards. "I will always love Quatre as a friend, even as someone bonded to my heart in a way no-one else can replace. But I stopped being in love with him during the war." Turning away from Duo, breaking the lax hold, Trowa looked down towards the twilight-lit gardens below. "I didn't want to hurt him and I thought the feelings would return, but they didn't."

"Then why did you agree to marry him?"

"So he'd be happy. And it wasn't a bad deal for me, as petty as it sounds—I'd be married to my best friend who would protect me physically and financially for the rest of my life. He'd be there for the rest of my life."

"You wouldn't be lonely."

"Exactly. And as long as Quatre believed I was in love with him still, there wouldn't be a problem. But there is a problem. A big one."

"You love someone else."

Trowa nodded, silent tears spilling over from emerald to pale ivory, curving round to his now trembling mouth. "Who doesn't love me back. You said that day when you and Heero spilt up that you thought a relationship should end if one person in the relationship loved another and that outside person loved him back."

"Heero and Relena."

"Yes. But what should I do if that outside person doesn't love me back?"

Duo leaned against Trowa as he contemplated, brushing the water on Trowa's pale skin away. "If you had asked me that question before Heero left me, I would've told you to keep doing what you are doing. Quat's happy with you and you're relatively happy with Quat. But now, I think you should end it with him."

"Why? Why hurt him now when nothing's really changed?"

"Well, for one, if Quat ever found out, it would hurt a whole heck of a lot more if you two were actually married. For two, Quat deserves to be with someone who is in love with him. For three, you deserve the same." Duo gently turned Trowa's chin so they could look eye-to-eye again. "You made a mistake, Tro, but you did it with honest intentions. And trust me, Quat's gonna hurt over you like I hurt over Heero. But it's worlds better than not knowing. The worst part of my heartache is looking back and wondering when Heero fell out of love with me, when he was thinking of her, and why didn't he tell me sooner when I loved him more and more every day."

"You're not encouraging me."

"Quatre will find someone else in time." Duo sighed and shrugged in resignation. "I guess I will too."

"Do you hate me?"

Taken off guard, Duo laughed a little, wrapping an arm around his friend in a close half-hug. "Never, buddy. You were there for me during my breakdown, and now I'll get the chance to be there for you."

Trowa looked down at the diamonds on his left hand, the intertwining bands of the shining rock and solid gold, amazed at the feeling of relief pouring over his shoulders. "You're a good listener, Duo."

"You keep things locked up too long." The braided ex-pilot lightly tickled Trowa's side, wondering faintly why Trowa's sadness affected him so strongly when he should logically be mentally grouping Heero and Trowa together as scheming players, treacherous men who broke the finally semi-normal routine in his life.

"Sorry. At least breaking Quatre's heart means I won't have to deal with Amiah anymore."

"True that. Honestly, Tro, now that I think about it, you wouldn't have been very happy playing wife for big-business Quatre and all his sisters, would ya?"

"No, not really. But our home is nice. What we have now."

"Ah, sometimes. But speaking of, let's blow this place and go back. You don't need any more confrontations, I don't need to see Relena have her hands all over my ex, and I'm craving the rest of our Oreos."

Trowa smiled softly, leaning down to brush his lips against Duo's cheek, having forgotten about his fiancé's plans for the night. "Thank-you. Sounds great to me."

Duo lifted his fingers to where Trowa had kissed him, surprised. "Fantastic. Then you can tell me all about this other guy you're in love with."

"Ah….no."


	8. Chapter 8

**This is a direct continuation from the previous chapter, when Duo and Trowa arrive home after fleeing the party.**

Trowa tossed the tie towards Duo's bed, happy to have the strangling device away from his neck. "Remind me never to ride in a taxi again."

Duo snickered, flopping down next to the rejected tie and breaking into the bag of black-and-white cookies. He twisted an Oreo in half, tossing the plain side to his friend. "You're just saying that 'cause the driver kept hitting on you."

"That isn't a good enough reason? Thanks for pretending to be my jealous boyfriend anyway."

"Ah, I don't think he was intimidated." Duo made a muscle underneath the sleeve of his tuxedo, pouting as he felt up his arm. "I need to start working out again. Hard to think that while a few years ago I was a terrorist wanted by all the major world and colony organizations, now I can't even scare off a seventy-year-old pervert."

Trowa leaned over and patted Duo's arm, in much happier spirits since they left the banquet. He adapted a falsetto voice and teased, "Don't worry, honey. I still think you're sexy."

Throwing his head back and roaring with laughter, Duo nearly fell off his bed. "Man, I've seriously been a bad influence on you. Next you'll be putting pink hair dye in Wufei's shampoo or peanut butter in Quatre's loafers."

"Pink wouldn't show up in Wufei's hair and Quatre is allergic to peanut butter."

"Party pooper."

Trowa sighed, playfully tugging on Duo's braid as he took yet another half of an Oreo. "I'm going to shower so I can get out of these clothes. Then I'll make us something real to eat." He watched as Duo opened his mouth to protest. "Don't start. Cookies are not a healthy dinner and you didn't touch anything at the banquet."

"Yes, mommy. Can it be pancakes?"

"Whatever your heart desires, Duo."

"My heart desires Oreos."

Trowa snatched up the bag, heading out of the room towards the stairs. "Your heart is incredibly misguided."

After he hid the bag and had taken a quick shower, Trowa dressed in his comfortable, worn-out pajamas and went to the kitchen to make pancakes from scratch. Catherine had taught him how to make a few decent meals back in the circus, and although he could never make his food appeasing to the eye, it ended up tasting pretty decent. The only one in the house who wouldn't eat Trowa's dishes was Wufei.

When the batter was ready to be poured into a hot frying pan, Duo wondered into the kitchen, braid still wet from his bath. Accompanying his nightclothes was the emerald tie, knotted hap-hazardly in the middle. Trowa laughed and pulled the tie over Duo's head, careful not to snag his hair, placing it on the counter. "Quatre would be upset if you got syrup on this."

Duo smiled and shrugged, going into the pantry to get the large bottle of maple syrup and sticking it into the microwave to warm it up. "I thought it was a nice touch to complete my look."

"What look_? _Delicious?"

"Huh?"

Trowa blinked, realizing he had let his thoughts slip beyond his mouth. "To go with my pancakes?"

Duo smiled again, taking out the syrup bottle and plopping down on a stool near the stove. "You're in a good mood tonight."

"I'm sorry. Guess it is just relief from finally telling someone."

"I understand. Don't be sorry—I like you like this."

As Trowa blushed and messily flipped a pancake over with a battle-worn spatula, the house phone rang, startling both of the men. Duo slipped from the stool and answered, handing the phone to Trowa the instant he heard the voice on the other line.

"Hello?"

"Trowa! I've been searching all over for you. Is everything alright? Why did you go home? Is Duo with you?"

"Calm down, Quatre. Duo and I left about an hour ago." Trowa watched as Duo set two places at the counter, fiddling with the plates and silverware, trying not to eavesdrop. He nudged Duo's leg with his foot, giving him a small smile.

"Why? Amiah said she had a nice conversation with you."

"I'd hardly call the conversation nice. She hates me, you know that."

A soft sigh sounded from the other side of the line and Trowa could just imagine the line of frustration creased over Quatre's nose. "I'm sorry. It's my fault for staying with the client for so long, but he was very enthusiastic about the development. Did she hurt your feelings?"

"Yes, but Duo cheered me up."

"Oh. Do you still want to have our special night?"

"Our what? Oh! Um…Honestly, Quatre, I had forgotten." Trowa cleared his throat, voice catching there anyway before he could continue. "We need to talk about a few things before then, anyway."

The Arabian sounded resigned. "I know. But I love you."

"Love you too. Be safe coming home."

"Promise."

Trowa hung up the phone, walking over to place it back on its cradle. Fighting through the enjoyment of past hour was a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. "I have to tell him soon."

They continued in silence for a while, Trowa filling their plates and glasses as Duo watched his friend moving in his natural grace around the room. The younger man's voice broke the quiet as Trowa sat across from him on another stool. "When are you going to do it?"

"Tomorrow, I think. The quicker this is over, the quicker he can be happy again."

"Do you know what you are going to say?"

"I don't know. I don't want to hurt him."

"You need to tell me where you put the Oreos. It's going to be a bad day tomorrow, and I think we are going to need them."

"We?"

"Yeah, me and you. You didn't think I'd let you go through this alone, did ya? It's payback time and now I get to mother you around."

"Can we change the subject?"

"Sure. So, what is your mystery crush like?"

Trowa nearly choked on his orange juice, coughing into his fist. "What do you want to know?"

Duo tapped his chin with his finger, pretending to think. "What is the hottest, most drool-worthy thing about him?"

"Do you mean about his appearance or his personality?"

"Do both, just so we cover all the bases."

"You sound like the hair artist at the circus. But if you have to know, his most appealing physical attribute is his skin."

"His _skin_? Sounds like a horror movie."

Trowa lightly punched Duo's arm. "I'm serious. He's got really smooth, soft skin. Not that I get to touch him much, but when I do…it's like indulging in an addiction I usually deny myself in. As for his personality, he has a great sense of humor. He makes me laugh. No matter how the day has gone, seeing him gives me this rising sensation in my chest, kind of like when I leap into the air before a flip. Then he'll crack a joke, and suddenly I'm smiling. He'll start laughing at his own words, and I'm laughing right along with him. He's got a sweet laugh, you know? One of those...you're looking at me funny."

Duo took another bite of pancake, trying to smother his giggles. "Tro, you've got it bad. You light up when you talk about him."

"I'm in love. Plain and simple."

"I can see that. How did it happen?"

Trowa briefly explained how he fell out of love with Quatre during the time of his amnesia, leaving out the details about growing fascinated with Duo at the same time. "I tried to regain what I felt before, then I gave up and just started to mimic being in love with Quatre."

"And the new guy came along, sparking those old feelings?"

"In a way. He had been around for a while before I realized that what interest I had in him was love. And I love him more than I've ever loved anyone else before, so it wasn't bring back old feelings. These were new, more intense."

"He must be a heck of a guy."

"Yeah. He is."

"You gonna ask him out after you break it off with Quat?"

Trowa frowned, pushing the remains of fried dough around his plate, running into bits of leftover syrup. "No. He doesn't look at me that way."

Duo collected their plates, taking them to the sink to clean them in return for Trowa doing the cooking. "Where did you meet him? At the circus?"

"That is not important."

"It isn't Lance, is it?"

"No."

"Good, he was a jerk. I'd have to hurt him. Is it someone at the garage?"

"As I said, it's not important. Why do you want to know?"

Duo flicked a couple of bubbles at him. "Because! You're in love and as your buddy, I have the right to know who with. It's obviously someone you've spent time with, so it's either the circus or the garage. I'd bet the circus since we haven't been working at the garage for too long, and I would hope I'd notice if you went gaga around one of our coworkers." Duo wrinkled his nose at the thought. "You realize that all of our coworkers are gross, old men, right?"

Trowa couldn't help but laugh. "He's not a gross old man. He's young, active, and gorgeous." Trowa tapped his fingers on the edge of the sink, stopping suddenly when a spark of pain ran through his knuckles.

Placing the dishes in the drainer and wiping off with a dishtowel, Duo picked up Trowa's hand and started to gently massage the taller man's long fingers. "If it is someone from the circus, you must miss him."

At the rush of heat Trowa suddenly felt from Duo's touch, he tried to jerk his hand away to no avail. "What are you doing?"

"Taking care of your arthritis, which is something you've failed to do."

"You know?"

"We all do, smart one. We've just been waiting for you to be man enough to admit you're hurt. Guess I'm not that patient."

"Oh." Trowa relaxed, letting Duo continue rubbing warmth into his fingers, into his heart. "Thank-you. But I haven't been taking care of you very well today. This was the first time you've seen Heero and Relena…"

"You know, it hurt seeing them together, but not as bad as I thought it would."

Duo's eyes flickered up to catch Trowa's gaze, a small smile playing across his lips. "Guess I've got a very handsome distraction."

Trowa's heart thumped in his chest, blood rising to his cheeks even though his eyes didn't leave Duo's. He leaned forward slightly, body acting on its own will to seek out a kiss. But for the second time in the day, before Duo could even realize what he was doing, his intentions were interrupted. The lock in the door to the garage clicked and the rest of their make-shift family entered the kitchen.

"Welcome home guys! You are home early. Sorry, but Trowa didn't make enough pancakes to feed the rebellion, and he's not making any more 'cause his hands hurt."

"We felt bad that you didn't have a good time."

"Not all of us like Trowa's pancakes."

"No worries, Quat, we were having a dandy time here. And you're just jealous because you burn noodles, Fei." Duo yawned, letting go of Trowa to stretch his arms up in the air. He didn't want to listen to anyone's pity about Miss Perfect Stalker. "But I'm beat. I'm gonna go hit the sack 'cause some of us slackers have work in the morning."

Trowa nodded, trying to force down his blush before someone else noticed. "Good idea. I'll be upstairs, Quatre." _Thinking of how to break your heart without breaking us. _He quickly followed Duo out of the kitchen, leaving Heero and Wufei to their own food-hunting devices.

As they left, Quatre picked up the tie from the counter, remembering that he had bought it the day he had also bought Trowa's ring. Heero and Catherine both had warned him not to ask Trowa so soon, but he had believed in their love. After all they had been through together, he had been so _sure. _Tears stung at his eyes as he held the band of fabric over his heart, finally coming to face what he had been ignoring for months.

Trowa wasn't in love with him anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

**The next morning. Everything in **_**italics **_**is either a personal thought or one of Duo's flashbacks. **

Trowa hardly slept through the night, the immediate presence of his confession looming over his mind, causing him to toss and turn in the quickly tangled sheets. But even as the morning came and started to pass, he didn't want to rise and be forced to face his responsibilities. When he gained the courage to finally open his eyes, Quatre was already awake.

It didn't take a second for Trowa to realize that Quatre already knew. He could sense the knowledge radiating from Quatre's heart, could practically feel the pain as he reached out and laid his hand on Quatre's arm. "I'm sorry."

"It's not fair!" Quatre crumbled, curling up against the other man, pounding his fists feebly against Trowa's chest in frustration. "I love you! Damn it, I _love _you, Trowa! Why don't you love me back?"

"I'm sorry." Trowa repeated, burying his face in Quatre's hair, breath hitching as he began to match his former lover's cries. "You'll always be my best friend, but I can't…You'd only get hurt worse if I kept pretending to be in love with you. I should have told you sooner, it was selfish, and I'm sorry. I wish I could still love you that way."

Wiping angrily at eyes, which were already rimmed in red, Quatre turned his head towards the ceiling. "It was supposed to be easy after the war, without the fighting. But it's not. My sisters made it obvious from the beginning that you would never be accepted by my family. You hate politics and business."

Trowa nodded, remembering and echoing Duo's words from the night before. "We never would have been happy, not really. Even if I was in love with you."

"What about us now?"

"We're still friends, right?"

Quatre for a moment wanted nothing more that to strike Trowa across the face, hard. But he remembered Trowa's forgiveness for his actions after he had regained his memory. Quatre had desired for a long time to find a way to repay that forgiveness, and now he could. By offering his own. "Yes. We can still be friends."

"Do you think we can stay here together, if we're still friends?"

"If Heero and Duo can manage, I suppose we can as well."

Sitting up in bed, Trowa slid off the engagement ring he had desired to be free of for weeks. Instead of the expected rush of cool relief, he only felt the gold burn against him as it was pulled off. He offered the ring back to Quatre, who almost disbelievingly accepted it, taking off his matching ring in response. Looking down at the pair of rings in his open hand, Quatre's vision blurred again. Their perfection seemed to mock him, whispering now-impossible scenes of married bliss in the curve of his mind's ear.

"Do we tell the others today?"

"They will find out anyway if we don't."

Agreeing without words, they dressed in their day clothes with their backs to each other, shoulders sagging with the weight of broken dreams. _Why I am in so much pain? He knew, he's accepted, we're moving on. Isn't this what I secretly wanted all along? No big fight, no accusations, no forcing to move out…This could have been so much worse. So why am I crying too? _"You ready?"

"As I will ever be."

As they went downstairs, Quatre took Trowa's hand in his, reassuring and needing assurance. Pushing open the kitchen door together, they found Heero and Wufei finishing up a late breakfast. Almost instantly, trained blue and onyx eyes noticed the absence of bands on their fingers. Heero frowned, instantly getting to the point in his usual manner. "You broke up."

Trowa nodded, disengaging from Quatre to fix them both a cup of coffee, seeing from the circles under his ex-fiancé's eyes that he didn't sleep well either last night. "That's true Heero."

Taking the cup from Trowa, Quatre bit back a few more tears, deciding to answer his friends' questions before they were asked. "We both envision our futures going in two very different directions. Even though I still love Trowa, with all my heart, I cannot ask him to bend himself to the lifestyle I have to live as head of the Winner Corporation. Especially when he does not love me in return."

Heero stared at them both for a few moments, Quatre in his sorrow, Trowa in his silence. He left the room, face dark with his own private thoughts. Wufei looked up from the cover of his book, which he had closed at their arrival. "I will not act unsurprised, as I am. But I wish you two the best of luck in deciding your future."

"Thank-you very much, Wufei. Don't worry; we will get through obstacles as friends, if not lovers."

Wufei picked up his book, uneasy as he also made his way out of the kitchen, not wanting to face more drama after the earlier divisions created by Heero and Duo's separation. As secretive as he was on the subject, he wanted to stay in this family as much as all the other ex-pilots. At his retreat, Quatre rested his head on Trowa's shoulder. "Two down, one to go."

"No. Duo already is aware of the situation."

Having already assumed as much, Quatre closed his eyes, pulling away from Trowa. "I'm going to go into the study to think for myself for a little while. Okay?"

"Okay." Trowa gave him a light kiss on the cheek, wondering still as he watched his third friend pass through the door if he had made the right decision, but understanding that is was probably the only option left to take. After finishing his coffee in the kitchen alone, he slowly climbed the stairs, lost in his thoughts and not seeing the other figure at the landing. He winced as Heero's hand caught his shoulder in a vice-like grip, sending throbs down his collarbone and towards his elbow. His own hand attempted to jerk Heero off, but the strong fingers didn't budge. Prussian blue eyes bore into his, and Trowa winced at the water shining in their corners, but not at the trained steel in their gaze. "What is the big idea, Heero?"

"It's not acceptable. You love Quatre."

"Not in the way you want me to."

"What happens now? Do you run back to the circus? Make Duo run away with you? Or does Quatre run back to his family on L4? You know without him, none of us could afford to live here."

"We both agreed we're going to stay here as part of this family. That's what we're here for, isn't it? To grasp our way into the real world together? This is the real world, Heero. Love is real. Change is real. _Growth _is real. You should know that. You're the one who ended it with Duo first."

Heero loosened his grip and looked away, but his hand remained there, needing support from the first man in his life ever to understand him. "It's easier to accept change when you're the one controlling it."

"Is that why you broke up with Duo?"

"We weren't going to last. I had to take some kind of control before we both lost the ability to remain friends. But he doesn't see me as even a friend now."

"He will, Heero. Give him a little bit more time. We've been through too much together to let it fall apart now. Quatre and I realize that."

"But unlike you and Quatre, Duo and I have no-where else to go. Even Wufei could live with Sally if he had to move out. What does that leave for us?"

Trowa laid his hand on top of Heero's. "What do your emotions tell you?"

"That I love you, Quatre, Duo, and Wufei. As brothers."

"And we love you too. Even if you do leave bruises. We won't let you be alone again, even if this house set-up fails. If it doesn't, it won't be because of this."

"Hmm." Heero dropped his hand from underneath Trowa's, smiling slightly at this comfort. "I believe you. Although, I don't think you'd run into the woods after me as fast as you ran after Duo." At Trowa's shocked look, his smile widened. "You're not as good of an actor as you think."

"Then why are you surprised that I broke up with Quatre?"

Heero shrugged as he turned down the hall, heading for his bedroom. "I didn't think your infatuation with my boyfriend would last, or your relationship with Quatre would end even with your wondering eye. A minor miscalculation."

"Damn you, Yuy. If you tell…"

"I'll start wearing a bulletproof vest if you carry a gun again."

As Heero shut his door behind him, Trowa gave out a snort of laughter which quickly turned into a sigh of mixed relief and bitterness_._ Rubbing his sore shoulder, Trowa softly entered Duo's bedroom where the braided man was fiddling with a broken radio on his floor. Looking up, Duo held out towards Trowa an Oreo, a complete one. Trowa sat down, taking the dark cookie and dividing it, returning the cream half to the braided man. The dark circle sat in the palm of his left hand, faintly stained with a white shadow. _Am I stained too? Empty and worthless again with Quatre's pure light beside me?_

"You alright, Trowa?"

"No. All the times I imagined ending it with Quatre, I only thought about his hurt and how to prevent it. Never considered that I'd be hurt too." He crushed the Oreo half in his fist, fighting a tightness in his throat. "It's like…like I don't have a direction to go to anymore. Even if I didn't want it, my life was given to war, then to Quatre. What am I supposed to do now? What is my purpose?"

Duo opened Trowa's palm and dusted away the crumbs with his fingers, letting the black crumbles fall over the bag. "You're a friend, a brother, and a mechanic. Your purpose is to live."

"That's harder than it sounds, especially from the mouth of Death himself." Trowa sighed. "But I did just make a promise to Heero. We can't let any one of us go off alone. We need each other, right?"

"Yeah, that's true. But while you're so busy saving everyone else, when are you going to start taking care of yourself?"

"I didn't save Quatre. Not this time."

"You saved him with the ZERO system and you saved him with Dorothy. No offense, but I think Quat needs this time to learn to save himself. He needs time to blossom outside of war without the dream of you. Plus, Wufei's watching over him this time. Playing doctor and all."

Trowa nodded slowly, taking in Duo's honest words. "Then why do I still feel so bad? So lost?" He bit his lip, feeling a burning sensation in his eyes as he admitted his greatest fear. "So weak?"

Duo wrapped his arms around his friend, thinking of how strange the desire to protect him was. Trowa wasn't the type to need someone to look after him, not after years of war and loneliness. Even when he had amnesia, he hadn't been weak. Confused, unsure, and inquisitive, but not weak. Still, feeling the cold dampness on his shirt that formed from Trowa's tears, protecting the older man from sadness was exactly what Duo wanted to do. For a long time, no matter what the cost.

It was starting to scare the shit out of him.

As he rubbed his friend's back with open hands, Duo wondered if he was in love again. He certainly didn't want to be, not so soon after being dumped by the man he had invested so much in. He most definitely didn't mean to be, not with Trowa Barton. Trowa was the last person in the galaxy he would ever thought to have developed feelings for. At least, he wouldn't have considered it a month ago. But he had seen so much more of Trowa's true self since then, the emotional man behind the once expressionless mask.

Trowa was sweet.

_Duo groaned, not wanting to acknowledge the blaring red sunlight penetrating through his closed eyelids. He wanted to sleep just a few more minutes, but he also had to pee pretty badly. Grunting in defeat, he opened his eyes to start the day. There was a face two inches from his. _

"_Ahh!" Duo shoved himself backwards, hitting his head against his bedrail and nearly pissing himself. "Dammit, Trowa, what was that for?!"_

_Long fingers dove under his hair to check for bumps. "I was watching you sleep. You've been having nightmares lately."_

"_Oh." Duo immediately felt guilty for cursing at his friend. "Haven't you been sleeping?"_

_The taller man shrugged, not answering as he retracted his fingers. "I brought you some breakfast. Hope you're hungry." _

"_Aw, man, I love pancakes!"_

"_I know."_

Trowa was playful.

_He had warned Duo not to get him dirty that day because he had a date with Quatre right after work, not giving him enough time to shower. Duo had forgotten, having been covered in grease tinkering underneath an ancient 4x4. Wiping his hands off on a rag, he jokingly threw the nasty cloth right into Trowa's face, leaving long streaks of black on his cheek. The second the rag dropped down under the hood of Trowa's current project, Duo remembered. He tensed, waiting for the reprimand. _

_Trowa blinked down at the rag on the car's battery. "Maxwell, you know what this means, right?" _

"_That I'm an idiot?" _

_Trowa picked up a nearby hose, aiming for his blue-and-violet-eyed target with a grin. "No. It means you have one second to run." _

_With quick reflexes, Duo turned in an instant and bolted, a jet of freezing water pelting his upper back before he ducked behind a column of tires. Behind him, he heard deep and warm laughter. "Come on, Duo. If you'll explain to Quatre why I'm late, I won't spray you again."_

Trowa was hot.

_Confused by the humidity seeping underneath his bathroom door, Duo pushed it open, waving through the steam. He froze. "Tro, what are you doing?"_

"_Taking a bubblebath in the only bathroom with a tub instead of a shower. You said you liked them and I was curious as to why." Trowa crossed his ankles above the faucet in Duo's fashion. "But you're right, they are very relaxing."_

_Duo's gaze followed from Trowa's ankles down his long, muscled legs, across the low-leveled water, and up his broad, defined chest. The unruly bang was slicked back, revealing two vibrant forest eyes. Feeling a particular stirring in his lower regions, Duo decided to beat a hasty retreat. "You, uh, enjoy yourself then."_

_Trowa smiled, tilting his head back against the tub's edge, sinking his chest down farther down into the water, sending a few more tantalizing inches of leg above. "Plan to."_

Trowa was jealousy-inducing.

_Duo walked into the study, sneaking quietly in case Heero was borrowing one of Wufei's old books again. Why people wanted to read about life instead of experiencing it, he would never understand. All he wanted was a pencil from Quatre's desk so he could bring on to work for writing down customer's requests. His boss had gotten rather grumpy when he admitted forgetting what a young woman ordered for her car over the phone. So, a pencil he desired. And he wasn't above flinching it from the Winner heir._

_Stepping softly on the lush carpet in his socks, Duo peeked around a bookcase, checking to see if the coast was clear. On the leather couch near the desk, Trowa was reclined in the seat, his head turned against the cushion in sleep. In his lap, a golden-haired head rested in equal slumber. Their hands were intertwined, their faces relaxed in peaceful dreams._

_Duo picked up a pencil with a decent eraser, feeling a rock drop down into the pit of his stomach that seemed an awful lot like envy. Trowa was supposed to be __**his**__ now, not Quatre's. Shocked at the thought, Duo dismissed it quickly, telling himself he was jealous over their continued romantic relationship while his was dead, not over Trowa's devotion to the shining Arabian. _

Trowa was soothing.

_They had been resting on the small window seat in Duo's bedroom for half an hour, Trowa sitting with his shoulder against the wall, Duo lying with his feet on Trowa's legs. The sunset they were both watching was a gorgeous one, turning the olive green of the pine trees outside into a dark emerald, filling the sky and the room with a golden vapor unique to Earth's natural sunlight. _

_After the half hour had passed, the sun finally edging down beyond the tree line, Duo realized they had been completely silent the entire time. Usually silence made Duo uncomfortable, reminding him too much of the days when silence was all there was to be said. The dead don't speak and those who kill the dead can't speak. _

_But he had been comfortable. He remained comfortable even when he acknowledged this fact. The fading light from the sunlight highlighted the long contours of Trowa's face, bringing out the own dark emerald in the visible green eye._

"_Hey, Trowa?"_

"_Yes, Duo?"_

"_Is this what they mean by 'comfortable silence'?"_

_A small smile. "Yes, Duo."_

Overall, Trowa was easy to fall in love with.

But Trowa was also very much in love. As he brushed away the wet streaks on Trowa's face, earning a small smile from the green-eyed man, Duo felt a flutter of hope. Instantly, he tried to force the feeling back down—hope had done nothing for him in the past except betray him. He had no reason to think that Trowa was in love with him. "You better now that you let it out, Bud?"

"Yes. Thanks for helping me again." Trowa laid his head in the curve of Duo's neck, exhaling softly against the pale skin, sending light, pleasurable shivers down the back of Duo's spine. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Then again, hope is an amazingly wonderful thing.


	10. Chapter 10

**To all those who have left reviews, I e-hug thee. Sorry this chapter took so long to post, but once again, the academic world plagues me. Rating has gone up just to be safe.**

"Woo-hoo! I win again! I believe that means you owe me five days of access to your motorcycle keys, Wu."

"I thoroughly believe you are cheating." The Chinese man leaned grumpily on his pool stick, glaring at the three striped balls left on the green felt of the billiards table. "And you better remember to fill her tank up this time."

"Gotcha. Who's next to face the awesome pool skills of the great and talented Shinigami?"

Trowa smiled, laughing silently to himself. The five of them were in the basement of the house, the section formed into Duo's game room. The entire area seemed to him like a bar had mated with a five-year-old's arcade, creating a very ugly but very fun child. Quatre drummed his fingers on Trowa's shoulder where he had been resting his hand during Wufei's and Duo's match.

In the few weeks since Trowa and Quatre had separated, the family had grown stronger again. Trowa freely admitted that it was all Quatre's doing, as the blond had sat them all down one night and stated quite clearly that they all needed bonding time together if the family was going to hold. The business man in him had created a schedule with Wufei's help, designating certain daily times they were all free and activities they would all enjoy for the first week.

The first session had been rocky. Trowa didn't want to be next to Quatre out of guilt. Quatre didn't want to be next to Duo out of jealousy. Duo didn't want to be next to Heero out of awkwardness. Wufei wanted to stay next to Quatre out of brotherly concern, considering the Arabian had a habit of ignoring food and sleep when he was depressed. Heero wanted to stay next to Duo out of desire for renewed friendship. Quatre wanted to stay next to Trowa out of lingering feelings of love. Trowa wanted to stay next to Duo out of obvious reasons.

They had gotten banned from the mall indefinitely.

But after the first week, old bonds started to strengthen. Although no-one had fully healed and awkward moments still popped up, they were learning to work together again as a team. Trowa was happy to have his best friend back, able to talk with Quatre more openly as just a friend than he ever had as a boyfriend. In order to make the transition from lovers to friends, though, he had switched rooms with Heero. The Japanese man and Quatre shared bedroom space peacefully, both liking the ability to work away on their laptops without interruption. Duo liked sharing a bathroom with Trowa because Trowa rarely locked the door.

"We've all been beaten, Trowa. Why don't you try?"

"You three have only lost because you've never played pool before. Duo's really not that good of a player."

"Hey! Put your money where your mouth is, Tro!"

"Sorry, Duo. I don't feel much like playing. Besides, we don't make bets with money, remember?" Trowa didn't want to play since his elbows and wrists were aching with the sudden rainstorms that had been raging outside all day. He wished they had moved to a more climate-controlled colony.

"We'll bet pancakes, then. Come on, Trowa." Duo tugged on his hand, pulling him towards the table. "You can even shoot first. Please?"

"Pancakes, Duo?"

"Yeah, if I win, you make me pancakes."

"If you lose?"

"You make me pancakes."

"Thrilling. No."

"Aw, pretty please?"

Duo's lower lip poke out in a pout and Trowa melted instantly. "Okay. But just one game. And if I win, you have to clean the toilet next time it's my turn."

"Deal!" Duo handed Trowa a stick, its tip already blue with chalk. He deftly gathered up the balls on the table, setting them up for the next round. He placed the cue ball in front of Trowa. "Your go, buddy."

_Might as well make this quick_. With precision gained from years of hustling pool tables for extra money during his mercenary years, Trowa expertly sent the white ball into the triangle of stripes and solids. He watched with a small smirk as each ball found its way into a pocket, the eight ball rolling in last with a solid clunk. "I win. You're cleaning the toilet."

Duo's mouth was hanging open, as were Quatre's, Heero's, and Wufei's. "How did…that's not…how…"

"Practice. Who wants to play in my place?"

"Oh, no. I want a rematch. And this time I go first. Same bets."

"You're just going to lose again."

"We'll see about that." Energized, Duo repeated the setting up process as Trowa shook his head in amusement. Duo ended up sinking two balls before he missed, making it Trowa's turn again. Methodically, he walked around the table, sinking in a solid. As he went for the second one, pushing the pool stick between his fingers, his elbow shot a blinding pain through his arm. He dropped the stick, clutching at his arm with a wince.

In a flash, Wufei was at his side, flexing Trowa's elbow with gentle but unforgiving force. "You shouldn't still be experiencing this pain."

"Pain's a part of life." He ignored the variety of stares he was being given. "If Duo will settle for a rain-check on the rematch, I'm going to sit in a warm bath for a while."

"Yeah, Tro. No problem."

After a half hour of letting his joints and muscles be soothed in a hot bubble bath, he was unsurprised when Duo walked in and opened his fist in front of Trowa's nose. Resting against his palm were two blue capsules. "Wufei said he got these prescribed to you a week ago. We counted all the pills in the bottle. You haven't taken any."

"I don't want them. I hate taking medicine."

"Why? And don't you dare just shrug at me. You're in pain a lot of the time and I wanna know why you don't do something to stop it."

As Trowa looked down into the bubbles, the heat created from the hot water suddenly seemed oppressive instead of relaxing. His stomach started to ache. Talking about his past was never pleasant. "In the mercenaries, we didn't have much medication to go around. There was a lot of sickness, though. Everyone had some type of sickness since there wasn't enough food or clean water. When the meds came in, they weren't specific to what was needed, just whatever the officials could afford to allocate to us. Not many of the medics could read, so most the soldiers were dosed with random medications."

Duo sat down on the side of the tub, still cupping the pills in his hand. "Sounds bad."

"Yes. I caught a cold once that made everyone cough and have a fever. They gave us some type of clear liquid. A few days later, I went back to read one of the bottles where they had thrown it away, although my own literary skills were poor at the time. It was a laxative."

"Oh. Ouch."

"At least ten people died because they had nothing in them to help fight off the cold. The rest of us weren't in the best shape either, but if you were alive, you had to fight. After that, if I couldn't understand completely what I was taking, I took my chances without it."

"Can you understand these? Wufei wouldn't give you anything dangerous. He's your buddy and too anal about becoming a doctor to screw it up."

"I know. But I still don't want to take them if I don't have to."

Duo leaned over, rubbing Trowa's damp arm with his free hand. "You realize, Mr. Barton-Bloom, that if you ever really do get sick, we will be forcing some type of medicine down your throat whether you like it or not."

Unable to help himself, Trowa laughed. "Alright, alright." He turned around in the water so he could lay his head in Duo's lap. "Guess that means I'm loved."

"You better believe it, Hot Stuff. Now, will you appease Shinigami and trust Wu enough to take these things? You'll feel better."

"That depends. Does Shinigami love me?" Trowa froze the moment the words were out of his mouth. He hadn't meant to ask, just to tease in order to calm his nerves and lurching stomach. The surprise was evident on Duo's face, so Trowa closed his eyes in order not to see. He wished his ears could close just as easily.

Duo voice was soft, as were his fingers sliding through Trowa's wet hair. "Of course I do. If you don't know that by now, I haven't been a good friend."

Trowa eased open his eyes, both relieved and concerned over Duo's words. "You're an amazing friend. The pills just make me uncomfortable. I'll take them if it'll prove that to you."

"Good." Duo carefully placed the medicine in Trowa's mouth, bracing him up as he struggled to swallow even with the help of the soda.

"Do I have to do this every day?"

"Yes, _we _do. I'll give if you take."

For the second time in his life, Trowa pressed his lips against Duo's cheek in a gesture of gratitude. Duo was tempted to turn the touch into a real kiss, but the memory of Trowa's crush kept him from doing so. He wanted Trowa, in every sense of the word, but he needed to know who the crush was first. _If it's someone beneath me, I could compete and win Trowa's affections. If it is me, then I could jump Trowa and never let him go. But if it is someone above me, someone as great as Quatre was, then I have no chance even to compete. But I guess there's no time like the present to find out. Maybe a little flirtation would offer up some clues. _

"Do ya mind if I ask you more questions about your mystery guy?"

Trowa sighed, reclining back down into the now-thinning layer of bubbles. "Again? Why?"

Duo gazed into the bubbles, trying to sneakily see what was hidden beneath. "Well, it will get your mind off the pills, won't it?"

"True. Go ahead and ask away, then. But I retain the right to withhold information."

"Is he good in the sack?"

"I've never slept with him, Duo. I was with Quatre, remember? Oh, and can you hand me a towel and turn around? The water is probably going to get cold soon."

"Fine, fine." Duo obliged, thinking of the right question to ask as Trowa covered and walked out into his bedroom. Duo quickly followed, rocking on his feet as he pondered. "Do you think he'd be good in the sack?"

"His ex-boyfriend seemed to enjoy sharing a bed with him."

"Jealous?"

Ignoring the question, Trowa searched in the dresser beside his bed for some clean clothes, sighing when he acknowledged the fact that he needed to do laundry. He hated doing the laundry. Cooking for the household was fine, but laundry was both boring and repetitive.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm out of clothes."

Duo snickered. "Run around naked. Tell Wufei you think it helps with your arthritis."

"Right. And what if the one I'm in love with happened to see?"

"Flaunt."

"Ah, no. I don't think I'm good-looking enough for that."

Duo watched droplets of water wind their way down Trowa's bare back, following the curves made by his well-developed muscles. Reaching out, Duo lightly followed one stray droplet with his fingertips. Underneath his skin, he felt Trowa's breath hitch and a tremble run through the taller man's body as his fingers touched the towel's edge. "You shouldn't be afraid of that. You're gorgeous."

Trowa bit down on his bottom lip, heart thrumming in his chest. "Even if I didn't want to be dominant?"

Fingertips dipped just beneath the towel as Duo laughed. "You're full of surprises, Trowa. You'd bottom for this guy?"

"I…I'd do…both." Trowa gulped down cold air, trying to stay calm and still, but Duo's fingers were wrecking havoc on his control. He stepped closer to his bed, trying to angle away from his crush, but Duo adjusted behind him. "Whatever he wanted."

"He's pretty lucky. You've got a great ass."

"You've never seen my ass."

"We can change that."

"Duo, are you flirting with me?"

_Nice deduction, smart one. _"Chill, man. You need to be more relaxed with your body if you're going to snag this guy in bed." Thinking for a moment, Duo jumped onto Trowa's back, sending the ex-acrobat sprawling face-forward onto his mattress. "Like this." He leaned down to where Trowa was turning his face out of the comforter. "Isn't this like what you imagined?"

"Actually…" Trowa pressed himself closer against the bed, turning underneath the other man so he was laying on his back, looking up into Duo's eyes. "This position is better. This way, I could have your hair falling around my face as we made love. And I could watch you as you came."

"Sounds cheesy, Tro."

Slightly rebuffed, Trowa shrugged and looked away, reminding himself that Duo was only a friend. _I really should stop spending so much time around him. I love being near him, but something's going to slip out. _He could imagine the disgust in Duo's face if something did. Or worse, the pity. "Get off of me."

Duo frowned. _Dang, we were going good there for a second. _"Why? I'm enjoying having you captured and naked."

"I'm in a towel and you could hardly manage to capture me."

"Aw, you mean I haven't captured your heart yet?"

"Shut up! I said to get to get the fuck off!"

Duo pulled back instantly, sitting over Trowa's waist, shocked. Everyone else had told him to shut up before, usually on more than one occasion, but not Trowa. Trowa never spoke to him like that. And it _hurt_, twisting around in his chest and clenching at his stomach. "Guess if you're telling me that, I really deserve it. I'm sorry."

Before Duo could move away more, Trowa grasped his legs, keeping him in place. "No, I am the one who should be apologizing. I just can't handle being teased about love or sex right now." _Especially not being teased by you when you don't mean it._

Duo nodded in understanding, but he wished he could run, melancholy recasting its shade over his mind again for the millionth time in his short existence. _Well, that answers that. He's not in love with me. But then who is it? He practically doesn't talk to anyone except for his sister, me, Quatre, Wufei and Heero. Wait—Heero. They spent that month together in the war and Trowa jumped in front of him when Quatre went nuts. Heero's perfect when it comes to being a soldier and he's always been nice to Trowa. Trowa admires Heero, he admits that all the time. He stopped talking to Heero as much as he used to once we started hanging out after the war._

_So that's why he helped me get over Heero, why he's been so supportive. He loves Heero._

"Oh. I get it now. It makes sense."

Trowa went ashen, fear making his body cold even after the hot bath. "You know, don't you?"

"Can't believe I didn't figure it out before." Duo wiped at his brimming eyes, unsure if he was hurt more at Trowa not loving him back or at Trowa manipulating him to stay away from Heero.

Trowa nearly cried himself at the tears Duo continued to wipe away, wishing for anything else but his sadness. He could handle Duo mad, pitying, or disgusted. He couldn't handle this. "I'm so sorry Duo. I didn't mean to, I promise. We can pretend it doesn't exist or I can…I can leave if you really want me to. But I do love you. I'd never intentionally hurt you, ever."

"Why did it have to be Heero, though? That's not fair!"

Pausing a moment, Trowa looked confused. "Heero? What does this have to do with Heero?"

"You just admitted it, Trowa! You're in love with him!"

Despite himself, Trowa laughed aloud at the moronic irony and at his own relief, earning him a glare from the troubled Shinigami above him. "No, I didn't. I'm not in love with Heero. What made you think that?"

"Because he's the perfect solider and you two understand each other well. And it would explain why you decided to take care of me out of the blue."

"I decided to care for you because I care about you."

"So it's not Heero? You promise?"

"I promise." Trowa wrinkled his nose, trying to amuse Duo again in order to regain the braided man's earlier mirth. "He's not my type anyway. Too overly masculine. I prefer curves."

Trying to pull himself out of the pit of depression, Duo smirked. "Just not on women, huh?"

"Oh, I don't discriminate."

That did it. Duo's bright laughter filled the room, shaking the bed as well as the lithe form beneath him. "Cute, Tro. Batting for both teams, are we?"

"We are. But I happen to be rather uncovered and all I get is cute? Or is it my backside that you only find attractive?"

Duo realized again their position, the vitally-placed towel being the only piece of cloth keeping Trowa away displaying all his shining glory. _It's not Heero. That doesn't mean it's me, either, but it doesn't mean it's not. Besides, he said he loved me when he thought I had figured it out. That's a good sign. That's more than a good sign. He was scared. So either it's me or it's someone really, really bizarre. _Hope back, Duo reached and slid a slow hand down Trowa's thigh. "Oh, no, Barton. Your legs do a number on me too."

Blushing greatly, Trowa remembered why he had snapped in the first place, and he frantically sought out a distraction for the rapidly pooling warmth in the regions placed right behind where Duo was sitting. "May I ask you a question?"

Not missing Trowa's reaction to his touch, Duo smiled, encouraged to the point of boldness. "Mmhmm. Ask away, sexy."

"Why are you so concerned about who it is I love?"

"Tro, there's two things you need to know about your mystery person, alright? The first thing is, he better ask you out before he loses the chance forever."

"What's the second thing?"

"He damn well better be me." Duo leaned down again, capturing Trowa's soft, parted lips with his own.

**Ah, cliffhangers. Actually, I'm wondering if the fic should end here. So…owari? Do y'all agree, or does it need more closure?**


	11. Chapter 11

**According to wonderful reviewers, this story needs more closure. Thanks everyone who lent their voice! So here's the final chapter. It took a while to write it out…fluff is harder to write than drama…why **_**is**_** that? Anyway, some drama snuck in despite my best intentions. **

**Just a warning, this chapter does contain oral sex. So if you don't want to read…don't read! Sorry that I can't write such scenes very well. It all falls under fluff.**

**And…I'm babbling. Time to go onward! **

Trowa's world came to a complete standstill as Duo's lips left his after too brief a kiss. Wide green eyes stared up at Duo, the older man completely silent, afraid to speak or even inhale in case he'd wake up.

Duo proceed to question his sanity. _Oh crap, he's going to kill me now. It wasn't me. He isn't even saying anything! I wish it was me. His lips are so soft. Who knew they'd be so soft? _"So, did I just ruin our friendship? Come on Tro, say something, will you?"

Convinced Duo wouldn't disappear if he moved, Trowa grabbed Duo's arms and forcibly brought their lips together again. "I love you, Duo."

Duo smirked, then sighed in relief as part of him danced on the inside with joy. _It's me! _"I'm glad, because otherwise this whole situation would be awkward."

"This situation?"

"You, laying on the bed in a towel. Me, laying on you laying on the bed in a towel."

"You weren't complaining before you kissed me."

"Why should I have? You're hot. And as I said, I'm enjoying having you captured and naked."

Trowa blushed again, happiness threatening to break through years of emotional suspicion built around his heart. "You captured me a long time ago, Duo."

"How did I do that? Why me?" _He had Quatre, one of the greatest men in the galaxy. Why would he give up Quatre for the Shinigami? _

Trowa traced the contours of Duo's face, finally able to touch him with the intimate caresses shared only between lovers. "Your kindness, your humor, your hope, your intelligence, your acceptance…"

_He really sees me like that? No-one else has. Especially not myself. _"You're starting to scare me, Tro. In a good way, but still."

"Are you going to run over a little sappiness?"

Smiling seductively, Duo playfully pulled at the towel. "No, but if you promise to be a good boy and wait for me here, I'll go get you some clothes from the dryer. You might like being captured, but you're going to get chilled soon."

"I don't have any clothes in the dryer."

"Yes, ya do. I washed them for you since you hate doing laundry so much."

"That was nice." Trowa laid his fingers over Duo's, curving them over the edge of the towel. "But what if I'd rather be a bad boy? What if I've dreamed of you in bed with me since the end of the war?"

Duo gulped, fire immediately pooling into his loins. _I want to. I really, really want to. But this is a different game than I played with Heero. Mostly because it's not a game. Trowa needs to be romanced, not sexed. _"Not today, Tro. I want our first time together to be really special." _Don't be mad. We both need to be more to each other than just lovers._

Trowa pulled Duo down into another kiss, chaste but sweet and lingering. "You're making me fall for you harder." _I'm not a nameless soldier to him. He's taking care of my feelings. He's __**protecting**__ me. _

"Don't worry, love. I'll catch you. Just like you caught me." Duo climbed his way off of the bed, trailing his fingers across Trowa's cheek. "I'll be back in a flash."

Bringing up the clothes a minute later, Duo watched as Trowa dressed, missing each appealing inch as they disappeared from view. "You're depressing me. I haven't been able to see all your sexy self yet. Now I can't even see anything."

Trowa bit his lower lip to keep himself from flipping happily around the room. "You're the one who went to get the clothes. Who knew you were such a virtuous boyfriend?"

"It's not easy, but…Boyfriend? Did you just call me boyfriend?"

"Do you not want to be?"

"Definitely! Can we go shouting from the rooftops?"

Trowa sighed, the long exhale silent as it was released slowly from his body, his elation going with it. "I don't know about that. Life is still unsteady right now. I'm unsure if I'm ready to bring this out into the open."

Duo felt his insides turn hollow. _Right. He might love me, but I'm still the freak in our circle. _"Are you ashamed to show me off?"

"No!" Trowa pulled Duo forcibly into an embrace. "I love you! I love everything about you! I'm only worried about keeping the family together. Heero and Quatre might feel betrayed."

Duo chuckled into the comfortable worn material of Trowa's turtleneck, fears relieved. He snuggled against the shirt, taking in the clean, fresh fragrance of ex-acrobat's soap over the subtle, sage-like scent that was purely Trowa. "Glad to hear it." He reached around and gave Trowa's toned rear end a firm squeeze, pleased when the usually graceful man jumped and flushed for the thousandth time that day.

"Duo! What was that for?"

"To see you smile."

As if on command, a smile appeared. "That's low."

"No, low would be if I groped your front side instead of your back side. Gimme a break—my virtuousness has cracks."

Trying unsuccessfully to keep his blush from spreading, Trowa cleared his throat. _Grope to your heart's desire. _"Guess it would be better to go ahead and tell them now instead of hiding." _Hiding my emotions only hurt Quatre more the last time._ "How about we tell Heero first? I think he knows about our mutual feelings anyway. He's as astute as a perfect solider should be."

"I wouldn't doubt it. Oh!" Duo's expression suddenly turned wicked, making Trowa force down a tremble of desire. He loved when Duo went mischievous. "I want to shock the haughty crap out of Wufei's ass. Can we, pretty please?"

"And that entails what exactly?"

"Us making out in his library."

"I'm sold."

"Hmm…" Duo rested his chin on Trowa's chest, peering up at him thoughtfully. "It would be awkward for me to talk to Heero about this. I'm guessing it would be the same for you and Quat. I'll talk to your ex if you'll talk to mine, then we can meet up in the library for Fei."

"Agreed." Trowa regretfully pulled away from Duo, his body immediately cold and his heart immediately lonely. "Good luck."

"Don't need it. It's going to work out."

Not sure if he could be as confident, Trowa headed to find Heero, locating him in the workout room in the basement beyond the gameroom. He watched with trepidation as the Japanese man easily sent a punching bag rocking, knowing that the bag merely budged when he had tried to do the same. "Hey."

Heero glanced back, wiping a layer of sweat from his forehead with gloved hands. "Are your arms better?"

"My arms?" Trowa had forgotten about the events earlier in the day. "Right. Yes, they're fine."

"You're distracted."

Trowa sat down on the bench, waiting as Heero settled down beside him. "I need to talk to you about something important."

"Duo. You two are now involved in a romantic relationship."

_Forget astute. He's physic. _"I'm not going to ask for your approval because I would date him without it, honestly. But you were once his lover and I don't want to make you feel like we're not considering your feelings. Are you upset?"

"Mostly, no. I'm glad Duo has fallen in love with a man I trust. Otherwise, the man would have been eliminated."

"Ah." Trowa swallowed hard, trying not to be intimidated. "Then why just mostly?"

"You stopped talking to me for a while because you were jealous."

Not having expected being faced with that accurate accusation, Trowa laid a cautious hand on Heero's shoulder. "That is entirely my fault and I'm sorry. I never should have let my feelings for Duo get in the way of my friendship with you."

"Duo and I are becoming friends again. Slowly, but we are. Yesterday we spent half an hour trying to beat Quatre's pinball score. A pointless victory, but we achieved it together when we've spent a long time hardly speaking. Would you get in the way of that in order to protect your relationship with him?"

"Getting in between yours and Duo's returning friendship would only hurt him. And I never would hurt him, Heero."

"How do you know that?"

"Because he's the cream to my cookie."

As Heero let out a laugh, Duo was drumming on the kitchen table upstairs impatiently. Even after he had repeatedly told Quatre the upcoming conversation was important, the Arabian had insisted on finishing brewing his tea before they started talking. Quatre remained standing when he finished his task. "Alright, Duo. What was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Deciding to go ahead and dive in, Duo stood, wanting to face his friend on equal footing. "Trowa and I have decided to start a relationship together."

A shudder ran through Quatre's body, running raw over unhealed wounds and sending hot liquid over his sensitive fingers. _I'm alone. I'm alone and I wish it was all Duo's fault, but it's mine. Why wasn't I good enough for Trowa? What did I do so wrong? _"That was fast. What, were you lonely without Heero? Needed someone to lay you?"

Duo tried to make his words sound slow and delicate, but his anger gave his tone a sharp edge. "Don't make this harder than it could be. I love Trowa and want to be with him whether sex is involved or not."

"You can't love him like I do! I let him go, Duo! I let him go so he'd be happier. Would you do the same if Trowa found someone else?"

"No."

Shock was evident from the blond man. "If you loved him, you would want him to be happy, even if that meant stepping aside."

"Don't take any offense, Quatre, but I love Trowa too much to just let him walk out of my life, especially since I know now he loves me too. If you really loved him as much as you said you did, how much you say you do, you would fight for him."

Quatre's blue-green eyes were brimming over with tears, just a few of the many which had flowed down his porcelain-white face lately. "You would fight to keep him."

"Darn right I would."

"Just like he fought to keep you here."

Duo smiled, brushing away his comrade's tears with a friendly touch. "Exactly. Love can pull off the craziest schemes, can't it?"

Quatre glanced down at his teacup, noticing it was about to cave underneath the pressure of his clenching fingers, so he sat it down on the counter. He didn't want to look at Duo, so he addressed the cup instead. "I hate you right now. I shouldn't because it's selfish. I helped Heero move on when he realized he no longer was in love with you and I know Trowa will be ten times happier with you than he was with me. You'll help him adjust to civilian life, you'll help him grow as a person. But I hate you."

"Buddy, I can understand that. But guess what? I love you too much as a friend to let you walk out on me either."

Quatre turned his gaze back to him. "You mean that." It wasn't a question. Quatre could feel the honesty of Duo's words in his heart.

"Yep, yep. You're still loved Quat. Come on, if you stay ticked at me, I'll have to fend off all the introverts by myself."

"I still hate you. I love you, but I still hate you."

"I can live with that, as long as the hate goes away after a while."

"It will. I've suspected at Trowa's infatuation over you for a while now." Quatre knew he wouldn't be able to keep holding a grudge forever. Duo was right—love perform amazing feats. "Would it be petty to admit I wanted to pour my tea over your head when you told me?"

Duo winced, but bowed over. "If it'll make you feel better…"

When Trowa entered the kitchen a few minutes later, Duo was alone and toweling off his hair with a dishtowel. "How did it go?"

"Could have been better, could've been worse. You?"

"Heero gives us his congratulations."

Duo smiled, groaned, and leaned on Trowa's arm. "It's been a long day. Can we have fun now and go shock Fei in the library?"

"Mmmhmm." Trowa picked Duo up and carried him to the library, setting him down on the couch there, attempting to massage the tension out of the shorter man's shoulders. "Hey, Duo? Why do you smell like tea?"

"Don't ask. Will Wufei be here soon?"

"Probably. His class ended about fifteen minutes ago and he'll come in to set his textbooks down."

"Okay." Duo melted magic was worked on his tense muscles, unbuttoning his collar so Trowa could slide his fingers underneath his shirt. He nearly moaned when skin met skin, smiling at the suddenly light touches. "Harder, Trowa, please. No need to be shy now."

He gasped as Trowa trailed wet kisses up his neck, the taller man's voice slightly deeper than normal and spoken softly against his ear. "Watch your pretty mouth or I'll be tempted to show you just how 'shy' I really am."

Duo leaned back, reaching up to tangle his hand into Trowa's hair, pulling him down so their mouths ghosted over each other as he talked. "Not great motivation for me to shut up, is it?"

Smirking, Trowa turned Duo to face him and pushed him gently back onto the couch before effectively stopping any continuing conversation. Thoughts of their housemates faded from their thoughts as the kiss was deepened. Trowa plundered the hot mouth underneath him without hesitation, his own heart thundering in his chest as he broke for air.

"You taste so good." _I've wanted to taste you for so long. Let me taste you._

Any answer from the braided man was lost as Trowa pulled Duo's shirt above his head, letting the cloth drop onto the carpet with a promising whisper. "Tell me if you want me to stop." Starting where Duo's neck met his shoulder, Trowa kissed down his chest, beginning a slow trail to the hem of Duo's pants. Latching onto a nipple, he sucked leisurely, nipping while he let his fingers trace small circles around Duo's navel.

Moving down after a long moment, he ran his tongue along the dip of Duo's stomach, copying every inch into memory. _I want to remember all of him. Just in case I never have another chance._

Duo tried desperately to find a grip on the couch with sweaty palms, the pleasure he was getting from Trowa's actions evident in his moans. "You're…you're killing me up here…"

Trowa panted as he adjusted over the bulge in Duo's pants, the pressure of his breath causing Duo to writhe more. _Calm down, Nanashi. He wanted the first time to be special. _"Should we stop?"

Duo could have kneed him. "Damn it, if you stop now you're gonna regret it!"

"But you wanted our first time…"

"Oral sex can be smutty, okay?! We'll save penetration for later!"

Trowa laughed, dropping a kiss to the wet spot nearly invisible on the black cloth, wrenching out another moan from his love. _If he doesn't stop that, I'm going to come soon. _Quickly unzipping Duo's pants before either of them could change their minds, he dove onto Duo's sex, his consciousness forgetting everything except the hot, pulsing organ in his mouth.

Duo muffled a scream as he was sent into ecstasy, every nerve in his body on electric fire as Trowa expertly took all of him in, riding him with a tight, moist heat. All too quickly, he felt the sensation build up in waves, releasing powerfully onto Trowa's waiting tongue.

For a moment, Duo floated in the realm of dreams, brought back when he felt Trowa kiss his lips, tasting himself in his boyfriend's mouth.

"Your turn." Duo slid his left hand underneath Trowa's jeans and boxers, wrapping his fingers on the column of stiff flesh he found there, already wet with precum. Trowa quivering, whimpering quietly with need as Duo firmly but slowly pumped up and down his sex.

"Duo…Duo, _please_..."

Duo enjoyed hearing Trowa's voice strained with pleasure, especially when he knew how much the ex-mercenary had suffered in his past. _I want to make up for that. I want to make him happy every day for the rest of his life. _He increased his pace, feeling Trowa tense as he fell into the first rushes of an orgasm.

Crying out softly into Duo's shoulder, Trowa climaxed into his boyfriend's hand. Duo rubbed his back soothingly as his shaking subsided, his own body beautifully sated. He removed his hand from Trowa's boxers, pushing back wet bangs from the older man's cheeks. "How do you feel?"

"Wonderful. You?"

"Wonderful. Completed. Blissful. That was fantastic, Trowa."

A quiet cough broke into their sphere of contentment. Startled, they turned their gazes towards the desk, discovering a young medical student laying down his textbooks.

As Duo scrambled frantically to fetch his shirt, Trowa calmly zipped Duo back into his pants, pulling out his turtleneck to hide the wet stain on his own front as he stood. "Sorry, Wufei. We forgot you were arriving home soon."

Duo stood and finished covering up, his face still flushed with more than embarrassment. _We were only supposed to be making out! _"Yeah. We were waiting to tell you we were together and we got carried away, so I guess you know now, but—"

"It's fine, Maxwell."

"Huh?"

Wufei smiled in his small way, the dark onyx of his eyes filling with warmth. "I'm glad for you both. You make each other happy in ways no-one else could."

Duo blinked back a few tears, surprised at the Chinese man's acceptance. He reached for Trowa with his right hand, interlacing their fingers together as he heard his boyfriend's breath hitch, knowing without seeing he was surprised as well. "You really mean that, Fei?"

Wufei clasped his caramel-toned hands around their intertwined ones, his grip strong with years of both study and battle. "Shi. We have all tried to make love grow from the aftermath of war, to build a courage within ourselves to live by placing our foundation on another. Sally taught me a valuable lesson when she realized I was depending on her to define my own being. She refused to be my foundation."

"I don't understand, Fei. How is that helpful?"

"Mm. It is helpful because she forced me to be my own foundation. To find my own identity with her support but not by her definition. And now I can love her as a full spirit, because I know who I am, what I can offer her, and what I can't."

Trowa nodded slowly in understanding. "You can love her better because you love yourself now."

"Yes. And this is what I see in both of you. You did not join together out of a desperate struggle to cope with civilian life. You could both live well without being together, no matter how much your hearts may hurt in doing so."

"Alright, I still don't get it."

"Duo, he's saying we love each other for each other, not because we were expected to end up together during the war or because we feel we have to."

"Oh. We're together because we want to be."

"Exactly. And you both have come to shine, building your heart's home in each other while laying the foundation in your own selves." Wufei bowed over their hands in a symbol of honor. "Congratulations."

"Thank-you, Wufei."

"Yeah, man. This means a lot."

The dark-haired man rose and smiled again, making his way to the door. "You may have your privacy back now. But remember, the next time you decide to have sex in my library, I will hardly be so kind."

"Aw, come on! What do you plan to do?"

"My katana still itches for your braid, Maxwell. Remember that."

Trowa laughed as Wufei smugly made his exist, Duo clutching his hair with his free hand. He snuggled his cheek against the chestnut locks. "Don't worry. I like your hair too much to let anyone harm it."

Duo's eyes sparkled even as his mouth formed a sly smirk. "Falling over you while we make love?"

"I thought you said that was cheesy."

"Cheesy, romantic, and incredibly appealing." Duo arched up on his toes to teasingly rub his nose against Trowa's, throwing his arms around Trowa's neck for balance. "We can try tormenting Wufei again in a few weeks. He was cool, so he deserves something of a reward."

"I promise not to make dinner for an entire month to please his stomach."

"Good, because you're going to be too busy cooking up with me."

Trowa placed a warm kiss against Duo's forehead, his smile curving against the soft skin. "Now who's being cheesy?"

"Get used to it, Barton-Bloom-future-Maxwell. I happen to like cheesy. And what you did to me a few minutes ago."

_Future Maxwell? Does he really…_"Wait, do you mean that? You'd marry me one day? Plan your future with me?"

"Well, duh. You know I love you, right?"

"Yes." _I do now._

Tracing Trowa's lips with gentle fingertips, Duo laughed. "I think you're beaming, babe." _I'm beaming too._

"I have a reason. He's in my arms."

"Ooooh, nice one. Life not so unsteady anymore?"

"No. Not at all."

Duo Maxwell wanted to share his life with him.

_Duo Maxwell _wanted to share his life with him.

For Trowa Barton, life has suddenly become perfect.

**Owari. For real this go-round. Hope everyone enjoyed!**


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